Off Topic The dying Swan ~ Joke thread

Discussion in 'Cardiff City' started by DaiJones, Sep 18, 2018.

  1. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  2. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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    I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail.
    I looked round and this bloke shouted, "That's just for starters!"
     
    #882
  3. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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    I joined a dating site for pyromaniacs
    Got a match straight away.....
     
    #883
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  4. clingo

    clingo Well-Known Member

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    Dai. You're a bright spark that never fails to light up this forum. Just be careful (or not) with the Swan Vestas.
     
    #884
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  5. ccfcremotesupport

    ccfcremotesupport Well-Known Member

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    Read that as the swans vespa. <doh>
     
    #885
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  6. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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    I joined 2 Clingo, the first one was full of old flames.









    I'll get my coat.
     
    #886
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  7. clingo

    clingo Well-Known Member

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    I think it's all Lambrettas down there mate.
     
    #887
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  8. clingo

    clingo Well-Known Member

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    Dai, you gotta do what you gotta do in order to douse your burning desires.

    Can you get my coat while you're there?
     
    #888
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  9. BluefromBridgend

    BluefromBridgend Well-Known Member

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    Masky sold it. <whistle>
     
    #889
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  10. clingo

    clingo Well-Known Member

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    What a git he is. That coat was made out of a couple of remote's sheep.
     
    #890

  11. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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    Fair play boys the jokes might be crap but the banter is 1st class.
     
    #891
  12. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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    Neighbour knocked on the wall at 4.20 am. Lucky I was up playing music.

    He shouted, 'Can I have a little respect please?'

    I'm not an Aretha Franklin fan, but said 'Ok'
     
    #892
  13. clingo

    clingo Well-Known Member

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    Not an Aretha fan???????!!!!!!!!!!! <yikes> Did you Think about it?
    Anyway, Otis did a brilliant version too. And Oldsparkey is good on backing vocals with "Socket to me, socket to me"
    Hope you're doing ok Dai. <ok>
     
    #893
  14. Oldsparkey

    Oldsparkey Well-Known Member
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    I was also in the Electric Light Orchestra.
     
    #894
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  15. BrizzleBluebird

    BrizzleBluebird Well-Known Member

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    As well as AC/DC I assume?

    You'd certainly have a good grounding if so.
     
    #895
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  16. Oldsparkey

    Oldsparkey Well-Known Member
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    No, I'm more down to earth than that.
     
    #896
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  17. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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    Well "Just a little bit"
     
    #897
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  18. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for asking.

    The misses said I'm looking better than I've looked for some time.

    Hair is growing back it nearly hides the two holes where the drains were, all I need now is to lose the big heavy screws each side of my neck.

    <cheers>
     
    #898
  19. Oldsparkey

    Oldsparkey Well-Known Member
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    Dai.......<ok><ok>

    Just remember to use plenty of WD40 and that they're a left hand thread. <ok>
     
    #899
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  20. BluefromBridgend

    BluefromBridgend Well-Known Member

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    Changing bulbs?
     
    #900
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