A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's arse was that eye staring right back at him. "You know" said the doctor "you really have to learn to trust me"..
A man went to a strange town to be the guest speaker at a business meeting. When he arrived at his Motel, he found he had a lot of time before the meeting so he got the directions for a nearby golf course from the clerk. While playing on the front nine, he thought over his impending speech and became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained the situation and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th." Once again he thanked her and returned to his play. He finished his round and went into the club house where he saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often. He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. What do you sell?" She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh." "No I wouldn't." "Well if you must know", she answered, "I sell sanitary towels." She said, "See I knew you would laugh." "That's not what I'm laughing at" he replied, "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm still a hole behind you!"
I don’t know where these jokes are from so if anyone has posted them here before then I apologise, I am not claiming them as mine and plagiarism is not in my vocabulary… I’ll leave the plagiarising to Clingo
