On our 35th wedding anniversary I gave my wife £3,000 as a gift, "Wow" she said, "where did you get that?" "I put a pound away every time I had sex for a surprise for you on a special day. " "That's amazing, " she said, "I can't believe I did exactly the same thing, " as she gave me £5,000
My wife’s been complaining for hours about toothache. She’s been going on and on about the pain, and how much she’s afraid of the dentist. I’d had enough, so I got a pair of pliers, stood on her forehead and yanked the f*cker out. Let’s see how much moaning she can do without a tongue.
