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Off Topic The dying Swan ~ Joke thread

Discussion in 'Cardiff City' started by DaiJones, Sep 18, 2018.

  1. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    OK .

    Which one of you liked , then revoked it on one of my jokes ?

    Come on , own up !
     
    #441
  2. ccfcremotesupport

    ccfcremotesupport Well-Known Member

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    Hmm. Might have been me. Clicked like for the white horse joke but can't see it now.<sorry>

    Will go back and like it again.<cheers>

    You are the touchy one though.:emoticon-0172-mooni
     
    #442
  3. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    TBH I thought it was because it was liked then disliked because I am a saints fan !
     
    #443
  4. BluefromBridgend

    BluefromBridgend Well-Known Member

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    Liked all your jokes Jasper to show no hard feelings. <ok>
     
    #444
    Number 1 Jasper likes this.
  5. ccfcremotesupport

    ccfcremotesupport Well-Known Member

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    Sorry jasper, hadn't clocked it was a saints fan.
    But now you mention it, I might have to go back and unlike the re-liked joke.:emoticon-0138-think
     
    #445
    Number 1 Jasper likes this.
  6. clingo

    clingo Well-Known Member

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    You guys. You're enough to test the patience of a saint.
     
    #446
  7. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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    Nice one clingo. <laugh><laugh>
     
    #447
  8. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  9. Masky

    Masky Well-Known Member

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    73682FB0-885F-42C8-A5F1-6DDCCE0905CC.jpeg
     
    #449
    DaiJones likes this.
  10. mustyfrog

    mustyfrog Well-Known Member

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    A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
    She says hello.
    He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from.
    So he says, "Do you know me?"
    To which she replies, "I think you’re the father of one of my kids."
    Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor
    party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"
    She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I’m your son’s teacher."
     
    #450

  11. irishbluebird

    irishbluebird Well-Known Member

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    These are genuine clips from council complaint letters:

    1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
    2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
    3. it's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.
    4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
    5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly then he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
    6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
    7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
    8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
    9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
    10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
    11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
    12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.
    13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
    14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
    15. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
    16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
    17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
    18. The man next door has as large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
    19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
    20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
    21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
    22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
    23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
     
    #451
  12. Masky

    Masky Well-Known Member

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  13. Masky

    Masky Well-Known Member

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  14. blueturk the cat

    blueturk the cat Well-Known Member

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    maybe it be the END of EASTENDERS ? but still almost as funny

    I'll get my coat :police:
     
    #454
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  15. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  16. DaiJones

    DaiJones Well-Known Member

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  17. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    I used to be a Weather Forecaster .

    Does anyone want a broken Barometer ?

    No pressure ...
     
    #457
    irishbluebird, DaiJones and clingo like this.
  18. Masky

    Masky Well-Known Member

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  19. blueturk the cat

    blueturk the cat Well-Known Member

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  20. blueturk the cat

    blueturk the cat Well-Known Member

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