SCAM WARNING @ Tesco's supermarket, while packing shopping in your car, you may be approached by 2 fit 18 year old East European girls, in tight tiny tops. They wash your windscreen with tits hanging out & ask for lift to next shop as payment. On the way they strip and go down on each other. Then 1 climbs in the front and sucks you off while the other nicks your wallet! I had mine stolen last Tues & Wed, twice on Thurs and again today. Be careful
My german girlfriend likes to give me a rating out of 10 during sex. For example last night I shoved it in her arse, she started shouting nine nine! Best ****en score yet,
A bloke from the bush walked into a Sydney antique shop. After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway. He took it to the owner and said: 'How much is this bronze rat?' The owner replied: 'It's $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story.' The fellow gave the owner his $12 and said: 'I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story!' As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the drains and begun following him. This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds, and they were all squealing and screeching in a very menacing way. He increased his speed and ran on towards Sydney Harbour and as he ran, he looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS, and they were running faster and faster. By now very concerned, he ran down to the pier and threw the bronze rat as far out into the water as he could. Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into the water after it and were all drowned. The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who said, 'Ah, you've come back for the story then?' '**** no!' said the bloke, 'I came back to see if you've got a bronze Muslim, a couple of Afghans, a ****, and an Indian spin bowler the barstewards.
One afternoon a little girl returned from school, and announced that her friend had told her where babies come from. Amused, her mother replied, "Really, sweetie, why don"t you tell me all about it?" The little girl explained, "Well... OK... the Mommy and Daddy take off all of their clothes, and the Daddy"s thingee sort of stands up, and then Mommy puts it in her mouth, and then it sort of explodes, and that"s how you get babies." Her mom shook her head, leaned over to meet her, eye to eye and said, "Oh, darling, that"s sweet, but that"s not how you get babies. That"s how you get jewellry."
Paddy and Murphy are at the beach when they see a pregnant woman drowning They pull her to the beach and Paddy starts CPR Murphy takes off her underwear And puts his lips on her pussy Paddy says what the feck are you doing Murphy says you save the mother I’ll save the child
