The Curse of Southampton

Halloween coming up so here's a scary curse thread. #topical

Is leaving Southampton the end of your footy career? Does leaving the Saints mean you are doomed to failure?

Let's look at the evidence.

The obvious start is Lovren, the commanding centre back is a shadow of his former self.

Luke Shaw no longer plays football and just hangs out at Burger King.

Fonte doing nothing and playing for the porn brothers.

Clyne pure footballing boredom.

Lallana always one Cruyff turn away from a cruciate.

Koeman sacked after leading Everton into the mire.

Ricky Lambert is now an extra in EastEnders.

Puel sacked from Southampton for being dull and boring and French.

Then there's Poch. But he's doing well you all say?
He's like a donkey chasing the carrott on a stick doomed to never reach the prize. His might be the cruelest punishment for his betrayal, they're all witches down there I tell ya.

 

Oxlade-Chamberlain. From ****e club to even ****er club, causing an instant downturn in his new team's results.
Walcott. Just Walcott.
Gareth Bale. Moved to a far superior club, then made a poor decision to join some Spanish outfit.

 

I suppose Bale is a one off success story did he take all the luck with him? Did he seek permission from the coven before leaving? Who knows?

 

They don't really like him at Real, he's going bald, his national team got knocked out by James McClean and he's injured all the time.
As the song goes, Wake me up before you go-go, who needs Bale when we've got Sissoko?

 

That was the old Southampton though. In recent years only really Poch and Mane been a huge success.

 

Mane's another example. Injured all the time and he's a dirty, diving prick, too. Also at a club below Burnley, Watford and Newcastle.

 

1. Alderweireld.

From loan at Soton to the heart of the best PL defence
two seasons running.


2. Wanyama

Good DM at Soton but concerns about being a bit of
a red card magnet, to a team that takes 15 pts more
and concedes 9 goals less than the preceding season.

 

Being called the Saints certainly has its perks when we ask for Divine Retribution

 

We don't count Alderweireld as he was never ours. Just a loan signing.

 

Was just about to post about Vic actually. Though the red card magnet thing was a bit of a myth. 3 in 3 seasons, hardly horrendous for his position.

Can't count Toby as he was never ours to begin with.

 

Team top of the PL and off he goes to play footy in the AFCON and what does he return to?

Poch I've already highlighted.

 

Spurs know where the Soton player "kill switch"
is located, and reset it to off.

The Goon / Poool / Man Utd lot have yet to find it.

 

That wasn't the reaction from a lot of your fans when we signed him!
Absolute ****ing meltdown. Fair enough really, as he's class, but hardly our fault.

 

See my section on Poch. His is the worst fate of all.

 

Knocked out of both cups, lost 2 and drew 3 in the league. Season over.

 

Exactly, some would say he's doing well but is he really? Might give the hospital a ring and ask him.

 

To be fair, we haven't exactly struggled with replacing centre-backs since, although our current one needs to be locked behind several scouser-proof doors now.

 

...not forgetting VVD .. he'll probably be complete **** wherever he goes ... who's favourite to sign him?

 

This is my concern.