1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The Christian Thread of Lengths and Gapes

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by gas, Jan 14, 2014.

  1. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2012
    Messages:
    5,076
    Likes Received:
    1,784
    For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

    Ezekiel 23.20 (King James version)


    There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

    (New international version)

    **** sake man she shagged a donkey

    (Rab C Nesbitt version)
     
    #41
  2. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,183
    Likes Received:
    21,024
    10. Deut. 28:53

    Then because of the dire straits to which you will be reduced when your enemy besieges you, you will eat your own children, the flesh of your sons and daughters whom the Lord has given you.

    9. Judges 3:21

    And Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out. [Pictured above]

    8. Mark 14:51

    A young man was following Him, wearing nothing but a linen sheet over his naked body; and they seized him. But he pulled free of the linen sheet and escaped naked.

    7. Genesis 38:9

    Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD; so He took his life also.

    6. Ezekiel 16:17

    You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them.
     
    #42
  3. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,183
    Likes Received:
    21,024
    4. Deut. 23:1

    No man whose testicles have been crushed or whose organ has been cut off may become a member of the Assembly of God.

    3. Leviticus 24:16

    Whoever utters the name of the Lord must be put to death. The whole community must stone him, whether alien or native. If he utters the name, he must be put to death.

    2. Exodus 4:24

    And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the Lord met him, and sought to kill him. Then Zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, “Surely a bloody husband art thou to me”.

    1. Ezekiel 23:19

    Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.
     
    #43
  4. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2012
    Messages:
    5,076
    Likes Received:
    1,784
    YOu do realise I wrote a couple of these verses Toby and they're subject to copyright.
     
    #44
  5. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    36,183
    Likes Received:
    21,024
    Give me your home address and i'll send a couple of pizzas round <ok>
     
    #45
  6. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    19,124
    Likes Received:
    6,716
    He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends.

    Proverbs 17:9
     
    #46

  7. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    19,124
    Likes Received:
    6,716
    If anyone belongs to Christ, there is a new creation. The old things have gone; everything is made new!

    2 Corinthians 5:17
     
    #47
  8. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2012
    Messages:
    5,076
    Likes Received:
    1,784
    Jesus Wept.

    John 11:35
     
    #48
  9. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    10,011
    Likes Received:
    834
    <laugh>

    Class...
     
    #49
  10. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    19,124
    Likes Received:
    6,716
    If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

    Romans 12:18
     
    #50
  11. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    19,124
    Likes Received:
    6,716
    For You, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined. You brought us into the net; You laid affliction on our backs. You have caused men to ride over our heads; We went through fire and through water; But You brought us out to rich fulfillment.

    Psalms 66:10-12
     
    #51
  12. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2012
    Messages:
    5,076
    Likes Received:
    1,784
    #52
  13. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    63,752
    Likes Received:
    13,027
    Hallelujah, i've seen the light, and Charlie Brooker who is indeed brilliant as ST and Pud said.
     
    #53
  14. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2011
    Messages:
    15,541
    Likes Received:
    2,320
    And that's the bottom line, because Stone Cold says so

    Austin 3:16
     
    #54
  15. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    19,124
    Likes Received:
    6,716
    If someone is lazy, the roof will begin to fall. If he doesn't fix it, the house will leak.

    Ecclesiastes 10:18
     
    #55
  16. Shameless

    Shameless Well hung member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    9,100
    Likes Received:
    341
    "There is no God"

    - Psalms
     
    #56
  17. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2010
    Messages:
    60,591
    Likes Received:
    18,257
    #57
  18. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    19,124
    Likes Received:
    6,716
    If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.

    Job 36:11
     
    #58
  19. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    19,124
    Likes Received:
    6,716
    If we had forgotten our God or lifted our hands in prayer to foreign gods, God would have known, because he knows what is in our hearts.

    Psalms 44:20-21
     
    #59
  20. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ... Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    73,574
    Likes Received:
    39,081
    "Ye shall triumph without recourse to wingmen"

    Sir Alf 4:4:2
     
    #60

Share This Page