(To the tune of 'Hurricane', Bob Dylan)
Several shots ring out in the London night
Enter Ancelotti from the manager's box
Four defenders lying in a pool of mud,
Cries out "My God, he's skinned them all"
Here comes the story of the Chelsea game
The match Sunderland fans will hold to fame,
Nedum, Welbeck and Gyan,
Put them in an earthly Hell, but one time they could have been
the Champions of England
Four bodies there does Ancelotti see
And another man named Richardson moving around so skillfully
"I didn't do it", he says, and he throws up his hands
I was only shooting at Cech, I hope you understand
"I saw him scoring" he says and he stops,
"One of us had better call Saggy Chops"
So Ancelotti calls Saggy Chops,
And he arrives in the stadium with his red cheeks flashing
In the cold December night
Meanwhile far away on the other side of the pitch
Asamoah and a couple of mates are leaving Chelsea astounded
Number one contender for the Golden boot
Knew right then the Blues were being absolutely pounded.
When Hendo passes the ball right into the box
Just like the time before, and the time before that
In Sunderland that's just the way it goes
If you're crap, you might as well not show up at the ground
Unless your name's Ferdinand
Ricco had a partner and he he'd scored more than Defoe
Him and Danny Welbeck were just out prowlin' around
He saw a man running, an Italian, middle-aged
He jumped into a car without number plates
Mr. Stevies Bruce just nodded his head
Steed said, "Wait a minute lads, Gyan's not quite dead"
So they took him to the infirmary
Because this man could hardly walk,
Bruce subbed on Malbranque
Half-five in the evening and they haul Welbeck in
Runs up the pitch, and gets halfway in
The wounded Cole looks over with just one eye,
Thinks, "I've got to pass to him, he's my guy"
Yes, here comes the story of the Chelsea Game
The match Sunderland fans will hold to fame,
Nedum, Welbeck and Gyan,
Put them in an earthly Hell, but one time they could have been
the Champions of England
Three months later, the table is in flame
Gyan's in hospital, fighting for his knee
While Danny Welbeck's gone and injured his leg
And the fans are looking for somebody to blame
"Remember that match, where we thrashed the league champs?
Why are we losing to Stoke and the Mancs?
You think you'd like to watch us play Pompey next year?
Think it might-a been Bruce, he sold Judas Bent,
Don't forget that he was ****e"
But now the players in their coats and their tiws
Are free to drink martinis, and watch the club rise
While Benty sits like Judas on a ten-foot pitch
A greedy twat in a living hell
That's the story of the Chelsea game,
But it won't be over 'till we try to sign N'Zog again
And go up to Number 1
We were in an injury crisis, but one time we could have been
In Europe, or maybe 7th.
Several shots ring out in the London night
Enter Ancelotti from the manager's box
Four defenders lying in a pool of mud,
Cries out "My God, he's skinned them all"
Here comes the story of the Chelsea game
The match Sunderland fans will hold to fame,
Nedum, Welbeck and Gyan,
Put them in an earthly Hell, but one time they could have been
the Champions of England
Four bodies there does Ancelotti see
And another man named Richardson moving around so skillfully
"I didn't do it", he says, and he throws up his hands
I was only shooting at Cech, I hope you understand
"I saw him scoring" he says and he stops,
"One of us had better call Saggy Chops"
So Ancelotti calls Saggy Chops,
And he arrives in the stadium with his red cheeks flashing
In the cold December night
Meanwhile far away on the other side of the pitch
Asamoah and a couple of mates are leaving Chelsea astounded
Number one contender for the Golden boot
Knew right then the Blues were being absolutely pounded.
When Hendo passes the ball right into the box
Just like the time before, and the time before that
In Sunderland that's just the way it goes
If you're crap, you might as well not show up at the ground
Unless your name's Ferdinand
Ricco had a partner and he he'd scored more than Defoe
Him and Danny Welbeck were just out prowlin' around
He saw a man running, an Italian, middle-aged
He jumped into a car without number plates
Mr. Stevies Bruce just nodded his head
Steed said, "Wait a minute lads, Gyan's not quite dead"
So they took him to the infirmary
Because this man could hardly walk,
Bruce subbed on Malbranque
Half-five in the evening and they haul Welbeck in
Runs up the pitch, and gets halfway in
The wounded Cole looks over with just one eye,
Thinks, "I've got to pass to him, he's my guy"
Yes, here comes the story of the Chelsea Game
The match Sunderland fans will hold to fame,
Nedum, Welbeck and Gyan,
Put them in an earthly Hell, but one time they could have been
the Champions of England
Three months later, the table is in flame
Gyan's in hospital, fighting for his knee
While Danny Welbeck's gone and injured his leg
And the fans are looking for somebody to blame
"Remember that match, where we thrashed the league champs?
Why are we losing to Stoke and the Mancs?
You think you'd like to watch us play Pompey next year?
Think it might-a been Bruce, he sold Judas Bent,
Don't forget that he was ****e"
But now the players in their coats and their tiws
Are free to drink martinis, and watch the club rise
While Benty sits like Judas on a ten-foot pitch
A greedy twat in a living hell
That's the story of the Chelsea game,
But it won't be over 'till we try to sign N'Zog again
And go up to Number 1
We were in an injury crisis, but one time we could have been
In Europe, or maybe 7th.
