(To the tune of 'Hurricane', Bob Dylan) Several shots ring out in the London night Enter Ancelotti from the manager's box Four defenders lying in a pool of mud, Cries out "My God, he's skinned them all" Here comes the story of the Chelsea game The match Sunderland fans will hold to fame, Nedum, Welbeck and Gyan, Put them in an earthly Hell, but one time they could have been the Champions of England Four bodies there does Ancelotti see And another man named Richardson moving around so skillfully "I didn't do it", he says, and he throws up his hands I was only shooting at Cech, I hope you understand "I saw him scoring" he says and he stops, "One of us had better call Saggy Chops" So Ancelotti calls Saggy Chops, And he arrives in the stadium with his red cheeks flashing In the cold December night Meanwhile far away on the other side of the pitch Asamoah and a couple of mates are leaving Chelsea astounded Number one contender for the Golden boot Knew right then the Blues were being absolutely pounded. When Hendo passes the ball right into the box Just like the time before, and the time before that In Sunderland that's just the way it goes If you're crap, you might as well not show up at the ground Unless your name's Ferdinand Ricco had a partner and he he'd scored more than Defoe Him and Danny Welbeck were just out prowlin' around He saw a man running, an Italian, middle-aged He jumped into a car without number plates Mr. Stevies Bruce just nodded his head Steed said, "Wait a minute lads, Gyan's not quite dead" So they took him to the infirmary Because this man could hardly walk, Bruce subbed on Malbranque Half-five in the evening and they haul Welbeck in Runs up the pitch, and gets halfway in The wounded Cole looks over with just one eye, Thinks, "I've got to pass to him, he's my guy" Yes, here comes the story of the Chelsea Game The match Sunderland fans will hold to fame, Nedum, Welbeck and Gyan, Put them in an earthly Hell, but one time they could have been the Champions of England Three months later, the table is in flame Gyan's in hospital, fighting for his knee While Danny Welbeck's gone and injured his leg And the fans are looking for somebody to blame "Remember that match, where we thrashed the league champs? Why are we losing to Stoke and the Mancs? You think you'd like to watch us play Pompey next year? Think it might-a been Bruce, he sold Judas Bent, Don't forget that he was ****e" But now the players in their coats and their tiws Are free to drink martinis, and watch the club rise While Benty sits like Judas on a ten-foot pitch A greedy twat in a living hell That's the story of the Chelsea game, But it won't be over 'till we try to sign N'Zog again And go up to Number 1 We were in an injury crisis, but one time we could have been In Europe, or maybe 7th.
