I play a bit of golf, but no longer belong to a club. Pixie will now assert that I claimed to be a golf pro.
Yep! What with the weed, and then me smashing **** out of the clubs with every second word beginning with 'F', we probably wouldn't last too long.
I'm brilliant at it ... well at least I've always been pretty good on putting greens ...and banging it a long way at driving ranges ... just a tincy, wincy, probably not worth mentioning tbf problem around anything after the drive off the tee and before the putting green ... haven't got a fcuking clue ... what club, what club length, swing... wtf is all that about?
I've played a little over the years. I tend to try and figure out quiet times to play though, nothing worse than some twat in all the clobber waiting for you as you hit random shots all over the show. Plus I'm usually pretty stoned coming onto the back 9, not good, then I get paranoid the people in the clobber think I'm taking the piss. So I generally go when it's dark.
and I usually rock up with only 3 clubs. A driver, a putter, and any type of iron....and my Sports direct golf shoes. My mate who is really ****, literally bought everything you could want and some. I put my 3 clubs in his electric ****ty bag holder.
We went to the Belfry a few years ago. There was a guy getting ready to tee off on The Brabazon. Quite a few people were watching which clearly got to him. He topped his drive and the ball carried about 0.5 yards. #trousersroundankles
People watching me play golf is my worst nightmare... I feel like saying 'wtf you looking at, I know I'm **** and don't look like a golfer'. I did have 10 lessons about 5 years ago, made me worse if anything.
Reminds me of the first time I played tennis with a mate at Uni. I turned up hungover, probably wearing our football kit, wrong kind of trainers, one racket. He was in full whites, tennis bag full of all the gear including three rackets. He was ****ing useless. 6-0 to Stan. You know who you are Chris.
Mind you the day after the Masters every ****er in England thinks he's world champion... It's like going to play tennis when Wimbledon's on. What a bunch of rich pretentious arse holes.
I learned to play golf only because the people I needed to speak to played golf. I hate the 19th hole analysis of every ****ing hole! There! I've said it.
