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Off Topic The Burly Arms

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by Spurlock, Feb 2, 2017.

  1. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    Normal mum sat on a beach with her family gets up and stabs a man to death. Why? It's the story.
     
    #14861
  2. The Ginger Marks

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    Hmm got me interested already, I like pointless stabbings in films.
     
    #14862
    PINKIE likes this.
  3. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    #14863
  4. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Been approached for a job in Kent. The recruiter was banging on and on for ages and wouldn't commit to how much they wanted to pay for the role. I'm not going either way but always interested to see what the deal is.

    It's not a basic salary it's a packag
    e.

    Well what's the package?

    It depends really.

    You mean you don't know?

    No I can throw some numbers at you but ideally you want to negotiate this face to face
    .

    Not interested then.

    If I find out what they'll offer and come back to you is that ok?


    Yep.

    How much are you looking for?


    Just die mate.
     
    #14864
    BobbyD likes this.
  5. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Tell him you want a six figure salary plus company car, health insurance, ten weeks holiday, and a subscription to Razzle
     
    #14865
  6. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    And a secretary with big jugs.
     
    #14866
    Spurlock likes this.
  7. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Kind of goes without saying, but yeah you might need to spell it out for them.
     
    #14867
  8. NSIS

    NSIS Well-Known Member

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    Job creation dept.

    This how it works;

    When I worked as a city trader I got loads of these type of calls from headhunters.

    “I’ve got a top American investment bank looking for an experienced trader. Would you be interested?”

    Who is it, what are they paying. What’s the deal?

    “I can’t divulge that right now, but if the terms are right, would you be interested”

    Well, I’m always open to suggestions. Depends who it is, what the deal is, etc.

    “Ok, I’ll get back to you later”

    Next call is to a major American investment bank - to the head of trading.

    “I’ve got a top trader, very experienced, possibly looking to move on”...blah, blah...

    How to create a job situation out of nothing.
     
    #14868
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2018
    BobbyD likes this.
  9. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Sounds like football agents:

    'My player is interested in a move, would you like to bid ?'

    'Listen I've heard that 'insert club' are interested, would you be open to a move?'
     
    #14869
  10. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    There was a job like, he read me the job description and told me who the principal contractor was... I just think he didn't have all the info.

    No skin off my back I'm not interested in living or working there anyway.
     
    #14870

  11. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Where do you live now fella ? You don't have to divulge your full address like HIAG did.
     
    #14871
    The Ginger Marks likes this.
  12. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    I live near Manchester.
     
    #14872
  13. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    There's more sunshine in Kent ...
     
    #14873
  14. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    There's more sunshine in Sierra Leone too but I'ma be good here thanks.
     
    #14874
    Spurlock, HarryTipper, BobbyD and 3 others like this.
  15. The Ginger Marks

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    I went for a new job because I was fed up travelling to London everyday after 12 years and spending 16 hours a day away from home. Everything was ok until we got to the renumeration, he then proceeded to take a stickit note and write a figure on it. I asked him why did you do that? There's only me and you in the room! He looked a bit miffed I asked, I then started to tell him a joke.

    He looked puzzled and asked why? I said you started it and got up and walked out.
     
    #14875
  16. The Ginger Marks

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    Bit far north for a United fan. :bandit:
     
    #14876
    Tel (they/them) likes this.
  17. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    <laugh> You never considered a job in Somalia ?
     
    #14877
    Tel (they/them) likes this.
  18. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Some people really have a struggle when they are discussing figures with people. One person I spoke to in recruitment told me that most folk end up taking less than they wanted to make sure they got the job they were applying for. Seems backwards as **** to me.
     
    #14878
  19. The Ginger Marks

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    Every time mate, I’ve also been offered less than the going rate at other jobs and one guy said I’d be quids in as I would save 15k a year on train fares??? <laugh>
     
    #14879
    BobbyD and Tel (they/them) like this.
  20. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Mate of mine actually had a job in Somalia. He's ex Marines and took a job doing private security on ships in and around Somalia. Basically danger money to shoot and dodge bullets from pirates. They paid him a ****ing fortune, he did several 3 week stints at sea over the course of a few months and was set up for the next couple of years.
     
    #14880

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