Off Topic The Burly Arms

Luvvy getting ready for his meeting

 

i got sent on a disability one years ago and i had a great time . My favourite being when a discussion started up to try and work out if it was a "Disabled toilet" or "toilet for the Disabled" and my input consisted of this
me "The one in this building is deffo a disabled toilet"
them " why ?"
me " because the ****er is leaking"

the only person who got the joke was a PORGy (dwarf to you peasants) who was on the course the rest took me seriously .
I also upset the trainer to the extent she ambushed me in the car park to discuss with me my views on her performance

 

I think there was an agenda that some in the meeting wanted and it didn't go their way.

 

I’m in a bar in London. Hideous.

 

Sounds better than my afternoon.

Take car to garage, get type fixed....check
Go to Western Union, send the bairns money..check
Get a haircut...check..
Go look for some flowers, but not quite sure where, so end up in ****ing Tesco...buy some flowers.
Go see my mum and dad with said flowers, and have the ****test coffee in the world...check
Hoover the flat, and some random cleaning..check
Finally shower and shave..check.
Gan hoying tonights scran, made some burgers, did some cumberlands, along with a quick stir fry veg, and a cheesy mash. check
Heating on, gayest candle in the world on, blue light from tv unit on..beer in hand, chill the **** out..check.

 

Sucky’s flounced as well bro.

You broke him.

 

Oh well.

 

A machete attacker has been found guilty of wounding with intent after leaving a police officer with skull fractures and deep gashes to the head.

PC Stuart Outten, 28, also suffered broken fingers in the attack by handyman Muhammad Rodwan in Leyton, east London, last August.


Rodwan was found guilty of wounding with intent following a trial at the Old Bailey, but cleared of attempted murder and possession of an offensive weapon. He will be sentenced on Friday.

WTF?

https://news.sky.com/story/i-had-one-last-shot-pc-reveals-horror-of-savage-machete-attack-11915674

 

Do you buy your gay candles from Luv's Yankee shop?

 

Only the sperm scented ones.

 

Are they hand made

 

By a Welsh choir.

 

What's the first thought about this story?

https://news.sky.com/story/marine-r...-going-under-water-at-cornwall-beach-11915913

 

Piskie should have saved him instead of taking pictures of his bike propped up against some rubble.

 

He was busy trying to get his ear plugs in.

 

A bit of moss in his backpack would have given that young lad a bit of buoyancy.

 

Pesky has stolen it all, for his food stall.

 

You would make someone a good wife.

 

London, the bar or both?

 

Both. It was a Balls Brothers. They’re always full of ****ers. Even I’m not a big enough ****er to blend in.