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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16441
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2025
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16442
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2025
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    BREAKING!

    MAN IN GLASGOW SHOT WITH A STARTING PISTOL.

    POLICE BELIEVE IT WAS RACE RELATED!
     
    #16443
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2025
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Quasimodo arrived home from work, ans saw a wok on the kitchen table.

    He said to Esmeralda...."Brilliant, are we having a Chinese for tea"?

    She replied...."No love, I've just ironed your shirts".
     
    #16444
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 15, 2025
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  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2025-4-17_21-25-48.png
     
    #16445
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 17, 2025
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16446
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 17, 2025
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I’ve been banned from my church's Easter service.

    Apparently, the first words Jesus spoke after emerging from his tomb weren't, "Ta-Daa!"…
     
    #16447
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 18, 2025
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16448
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 18, 2025
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My English teacher said to me,", you'll never be any good at Poetry".

    "Well," who's laughing now, I've made three vases and a teapot"....
     
    #16449
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 18, 2025
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    An RAF fighter plane was flying over Afghanistan when he noticed a flying carpet on each side of his plane both with a machine gunner on board.


    Sensing danger he shot them down.

    Back at base he got a right bollocking - apparently they were Allied Carpets.
     
    #16450
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 18, 2025

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16451
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 20, 2025
  12. Wooperts_duck

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    #16452
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 20, 2025
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  13. Wooperts_duck

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    #16453
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 20, 2025
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  14. Wooperts_duck

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    #16454
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 20, 2025
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The wife was texting me all day yesterday saying she was in casualty.

    I watched all 50 minutes of it last night and I didn't see her once.

    She's still not home yet & I'm getting hungry........
     
    #16455
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 20, 2025
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  16. Wooperts_duck

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    #16456
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 21, 2025
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  17. Wooperts_duck

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    I accidently paid for my groceries with my library card.

    My macaroni cheese is due back next Tuesday.
     
    #16457
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 21, 2025
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  18. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2025-4-23_9-23-52.png
     
    #16458
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 23, 2025
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  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #16459
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 23, 2025
  20. Wooperts_duck

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    #16460
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 23, 2025
Page 823 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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