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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2025-3-9_20-48-41.png
     
    #16341
    Taffvalerowdy, Mar 9, 2025
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  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #16342
    Makemstine Roger, Mar 10, 2025
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

    “First offender?” the judge asks.

    “No, first the Gibson then the Fender.” the woman says.
     
    #16343
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2025
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16344
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2025
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16345
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2025
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16346
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2025
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16347
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 11, 2025
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  8. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    The defunct tolls at the Severn Bridges will be reinstated this weekend, just to annoy the army of travelling English fans heading for the game with Wales.

    There will also be a premium toll for anyone driving a chariot into Wales.

    Mike Chugger, spokesperson for the Ministry of Welsh Bridges told WalesOnCraic:

    “We always like to open our arms and offer a warm welcome to our English cousins from over the border, especially when it’s ahead of a good ol’ scrap in the Six Nations. However, we won’t be making it too comfortable for them so we’re going to reinstate the tolls.

    “When we took them down a few years ago, I got my wife to store them all in my shed for occasions just like this. So on Friday night, me and a few of the lads down at the Albert will be sticking them tolls right back where they were. We’ll make sure that we don’t put any staff on though, just to make things a little more difficult and if anyone’s driving a chariot, we’ll be charging them the new chariot rate, which is the same as a heavy goods vehicle.”

    Fans travelling to the game at the Principality Stadium will also face delays at the Brynglas Tunnels in Newport.

    “We thought we’d close the tunnels and make the Saes drive all the way around. Hopefully, by the time they do get to the game, we’ll have thrashed them anyway and they can just turn around and head back home across the bridge. Which reminds me, we could add tolls to get out of Wales as well.”

    Wales play England in the final weekend of Six Nations action this Saturday. Wales are red hot favourites to do ok but not quite win.
     
    #16348
    Taffvalerowdy, Mar 12, 2025
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16349
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2025
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    My wife said to me, "I know you've been cheating on me with that girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch."

    I said, "How can you say such a thing?"
     
    #16350
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2025
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    My wife just texted me to say she’s made a Voodoo doll of me.

    I think she’s pulling my leg.....
     
    #16351
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2025
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    My wife has had a bad week. 1st she was diagnosed with diabetes and now hay fever.

    I've tried my best to cheer her up with flowers and chocolate.
     
    #16352
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2025
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Ugly nurse: "that guy in bed 1 has Ludo tattooed on his dick"

    Pretty nurse: "no that's Llandudno dear".
     
    #16353
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2025
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16354
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 14, 2025
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    If pooping is a call of nature, does that mean farting is a missed call?
     
    #16355
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 14, 2025
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16356
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 14, 2025
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16357
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 15, 2025
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Just bought a bottle of Fred Flintstone aftershave.

    It is very powerful and you don't need much.

    A little dab'll do....
     
    #16358
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 15, 2025
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    You know you’re old when entering your year of birth online.

    You have to spin that thing like you’re on Wheel of Fortune......
     
    #16359
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 15, 2025
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16360
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 15, 2025
Page 818 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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