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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

  1. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #16342
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

    “First offender?” the judge asks.

    “No, first the Gibson then the Fender.” the woman says.
     
    #16343
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  8. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    The defunct tolls at the Severn Bridges will be reinstated this weekend, just to annoy the army of travelling English fans heading for the game with Wales.

    There will also be a premium toll for anyone driving a chariot into Wales.

    Mike Chugger, spokesperson for the Ministry of Welsh Bridges told WalesOnCraic:

    “We always like to open our arms and offer a warm welcome to our English cousins from over the border, especially when it’s ahead of a good ol’ scrap in the Six Nations. However, we won’t be making it too comfortable for them so we’re going to reinstate the tolls.

    “When we took them down a few years ago, I got my wife to store them all in my shed for occasions just like this. So on Friday night, me and a few of the lads down at the Albert will be sticking them tolls right back where they were. We’ll make sure that we don’t put any staff on though, just to make things a little more difficult and if anyone’s driving a chariot, we’ll be charging them the new chariot rate, which is the same as a heavy goods vehicle.”

    Fans travelling to the game at the Principality Stadium will also face delays at the Brynglas Tunnels in Newport.

    “We thought we’d close the tunnels and make the Saes drive all the way around. Hopefully, by the time they do get to the game, we’ll have thrashed them anyway and they can just turn around and head back home across the bridge. Which reminds me, we could add tolls to get out of Wales as well.”

    Wales play England in the final weekend of Six Nations action this Saturday. Wales are red hot favourites to do ok but not quite win.
     
    #16348
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16349
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    My wife said to me, "I know you've been cheating on me with that girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch."

    I said, "How can you say such a thing?"
     
    #16350
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    My wife just texted me to say she’s made a Voodoo doll of me.

    I think she’s pulling my leg.....
     
    #16351
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    My wife has had a bad week. 1st she was diagnosed with diabetes and now hay fever.

    I've tried my best to cheer her up with flowers and chocolate.
     
    #16352
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Ugly nurse: "that guy in bed 1 has Ludo tattooed on his dick"

    Pretty nurse: "no that's Llandudno dear".
     
    #16353
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    If pooping is a call of nature, does that mean farting is a missed call?
     
    #16355
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16357
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Just bought a bottle of Fred Flintstone aftershave.

    It is very powerful and you don't need much.

    A little dab'll do....
     
    #16358
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    You know you’re old when entering your year of birth online.

    You have to spin that thing like you’re on Wheel of Fortune......
     
    #16359
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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