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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #16201
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 15, 2025
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16202
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 15, 2025
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a
    service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
    We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
    As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
    ‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
    His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
     
    #16203
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 16, 2025
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I went to the pub today and asked for a glass of orange squash.
    The barman and the lads started laughing, called me a wimp and took the piss.
    I said, " You'd drink squash too if you had what i have"...
    The barman looked concerned, "Oh sorry mate, I didn't realise something was wrong. What have u got?"
    "50 pence" I replied."
     
    #16204
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 16, 2025
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16205
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 16, 2025
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16206
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 16, 2025
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16207
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 17, 2025
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16208
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 17, 2025
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16209
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 17, 2025
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16210
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 17, 2025
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16211
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 17, 2025
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  12. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    IMG_2706.jpeg
     
    #16212
    Didley Squat, Jan 18, 2025
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I tried leaving my bondage loving girlfriend.

    I couldn't my hands were tied.....
     
    #16213
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 18, 2025
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  14. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    upload_2025-1-19_20-40-2.jpeg

    I like simplicity.
     
    #16214
    Didley Squat, Jan 19, 2025
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I saw a sign in a pet shop window that said "Pedigree Netherlands Cats for sale"

    I didn't believe they were Netherlands Cats so I went in & asked "How Dutch is that moggie in the window"
     
    #16215
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 19, 2025
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  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    woof woof

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    #16216
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 19, 2025
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Sometimes I like to walk around in my underwear eating Doritos.

    That doesn’t make me strange! I just wish the shoppers in aisle four would stop staring....
     
    #16217
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 20, 2025
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16218
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 20, 2025
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I looked out the back window this morning and I thought I saw the Wife out in the back yard, jabbering away to herself........

    But it was just the wheelie bin lid blowing up and down in the wind!
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    #16219
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 21, 2025
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16220
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 21, 2025
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Page 811 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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