1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 809 of 830
  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,194
    Likes Received:
    147,669
    i know ive took a photo for you

    please log in to view this image
     
    #16161
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 1, 2025
    Didley Squat and Wooperts_duck like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    I wondered who was flashing at me, Rog!
     
    #16162
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 3, 2025
    Didley Squat and Makemstine Roger like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    When I turned 16, my dad told me it was time to get a job.

    “When I was your age, my very first job I had I worked with over 500 people under me”

    “Wow,” I asked. “Did you work in some big corporation?”

    “No!” He said, “I mowed the lawn in a cemetery”
     
    #16163
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 3, 2025
    Didley Squat and Makemstine Roger like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    please log in to view this image
     
    #16164
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 3, 2025
    Didley Squat and Makemstine Roger like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    Paddy's New years Eve's firework party was a complete disaster.

    "I don't understand it!" He said."

    "They all worked fine when I tried them yesterday."
     
    #16165
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 3, 2025
    Didley Squat and Makemstine Roger like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    Lost my job at the Dodgem Park, so I'm suing them for funfair dismissal.
     
    #16166
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 3, 2025
    Didley Squat and Makemstine Roger like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    My mates 4 year old daughter cant even say thank you in Spanish.

    I mean, ya gotta admit, thats poor for four.
     
    #16167
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 3, 2025
    Didley Squat and Makemstine Roger like this.
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,194
    Likes Received:
    147,669
    please log in to view this image
     
    #16168
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 4, 2025
    Didley Squat and Wooperts_duck like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    Taxi and Drunk Passengers..
    After picking them up, the cab driver quickly realized his passengers were drunk, so he decided to have a little fun. He started the engine, let it idle for a few minutes, and then turned it off.
    With a straight face, he turned to his passengers and said, "We're here! You've arrived at your destination!"
    The first guy fumbled for his wallet, handed the driver some cash, and stumbled out of the car. The second passenger thanked him as he followed suit, handing him his fare.
    But the third man suddenly leaned in and slapped the cab driver across the face! Shocked, the driver thought, "Maybe this one wasn't as drunk as I thought!"
    "Hey, what was that for?" he protested, rubbing his sore cheek.
    The third guy slurred, "Watch your speed next time! You almost got us all killed!"
     
    #16169
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 4, 2025
    Didley Squat and Makemstine Roger like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    I thought I broke my ankle last night when I tripped over a box of Kleenex.

    But the doctor said it's only tissue damage...
     
    #16170
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 4, 2025
    Didley Squat and Makemstine Roger like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    I’ve just eaten 7 cans of Alphabetti Spaghetti…

    I’m trying to break the record for the world’s biggest vowel movement!
     
    #16171
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 4, 2025
    Didley Squat and Makemstine Roger like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    Plastic surgery used to be a taboo subject.

    Nowadays you talk about botox and no one raises an eyebrow.....
     
    #16172
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 5, 2025
    Didley Squat and Makemstine Roger like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    please log in to view this image
     
    #16173
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 5, 2025
    Didley Squat and Makemstine Roger like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    I'm no good at helping the kids with Geometry homework.

    Apparently a Polygon is not a dead parrot.
     
    #16174
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 6, 2025
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    My wife will only have sex with me if she has a purpose.

    Last night she used me to time an egg.
     
    #16175
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 6, 2025
    Makemstine Roger and Didley Squat like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    A good wife will always be by your side during bad times.

    Mostly to remind you that none of this would've happened if you had just listened to her
     
    #16176
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 7, 2025
    Makemstine Roger and Didley Squat like this.
  17. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    27,489
    Likes Received:
    65,091
    IMG_2672.jpeg .
     
    #16177
    Didley Squat, Jan 7, 2025
    Makemstine Roger and Wooperts_duck like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    McDonald’s are incorporating meat from endangered species!

    I just had a quarter panda.
     
    #16178
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 8, 2025
    Makemstine Roger and Didley Squat like this.
  19. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    27,489
    Likes Received:
    65,091
    I just had a McCrack with cheese.
     
    #16179
    Didley Squat, Jan 9, 2025
    Makemstine Roger and Wooperts_duck like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,288
    Likes Received:
    294,200
    please log in to view this image
     
    #16180
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 10, 2025
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
Page 809 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

Share This Page