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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Napoleon and his wife are buried next to each other.

    They're only a bone apart.....

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    #16001
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 20, 2024
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A taxi was driving through a lower class town area, in the back of the taxi was a lady and her 12 year old son, he said "Mum, why are all these ladies standing in shop doorways?
    She said," oh, they're just waiting on there husband's coming home from work".
    The taxi driver says "why don't you tell him the truth, they're on the game, they sell sex for money"!
    The boy said "Is that true mum?, she says" I'm afraid so ".
    The boy says," if one of these ladies has a baby, what happens to it?,
    Mum says "It becomes a taxi driver……
     
    #16002
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 20, 2024
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16003
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 21, 2024
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Rebekah Vardy voting for Coleen Rooney to do all the Bushtucker Trials on I’m a Celebrity
    "She'll be eating Kangaroo
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    dick if it’s the last thing I do!" said Rebekah!
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    #16004
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 22, 2024
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16005
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 22, 2024
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Condoms do not guarantee safe sex.
    A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband
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    #16006
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 22, 2024
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16007
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 22, 2024
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #16008
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 22, 2024
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I always thought my grandad was a war hero.

    But he was hit by a number 12 bus going to Uxbridge, and was killed in Acton....
     
    #16009
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 22, 2024
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  10. Wooperts_duck

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    #16010
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 23, 2024
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  11. Wooperts_duck

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    #16011
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 23, 2024
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  12. Wooperts_duck

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    #16012
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 23, 2024
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  13. Wooperts_duck

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    #16013
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 23, 2024
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  14. Wooperts_duck

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    Just bought myself a book on reincarnation.

    It was £35 but I thought, stuff it you only live once!
     
    #16014
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2024
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Not looking for sympathy.
    Most of you won’t know this but myself and my wife, over the last month, have had the hardest month we've ever had.
    It's been one of the most difficult times of our relationship.
    Some days have been harder than others and many tears have flowed and many nights we've sat and talked and some hard decisions have had to be made.
    Sadly after a long period of soul searching we have decided with great pain that the end has come.
    We can't continue any longer with the way things are, it’s not a decision we have taken lightly but it's been born out of necessity.
    Something had to change.
    So it’s with great sadness that I announce after so many months of struggling and fighting the inevitable that my wife and I have decided to put the central heating on.
     
    #16015
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2024
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  16. Wooperts_duck

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    #16016
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2024
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  17. Wooperts_duck

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    #16017
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2024
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  18. Wooperts_duck

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    #16018
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2024
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  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #16019
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2024
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  20. Wooperts_duck

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    #16020
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 25, 2024
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Page 801 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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