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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I put up a high-voltage electric fence around my property over the weekend.

    My neighbour is dead against it........
     
    #15601
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2024
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15602
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2024
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15603
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2024
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15604
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2024
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've only just set up an exaggeration club, and

    already have over 100 million members.
    please log in to view this image
     
    #15605
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2024
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I was watching the Olympics when it was announced that GB was in a 'Nail biting final'...

    How long has that been classed as a sport then?
     
    #15606
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2024
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My wife got me a bracelet with the first initials of our kids on it.

    Now as I lay on the side of the road, paramedics treating me, I silently pray for David, Nicole and Rachel.......
     
    #15607
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2024
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A newly wed couple on their honeymoon night are in the bedroom getting undressed when she says. "Darling, now that we are married, I have a little confession to make, I was a hooker before we met, are you OK with that?"
    He replies "Of course I am darling, we hadn't met then and to be honest it turns me on, so tell me more "
    She says "Well, my name used to be Brian and I played for St. Helens".
     
    #15608
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2024
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just opened my degree results from my ballet school,

    I got a 2:2
     
    #15609
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 15, 2024
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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Before the EU, a German tourist was entering France, when the border agent asked:

    Agent, “Name?”.

    German, “Heinrich Gruber.”.

    Agent: “City of residence?”.

    German: “Frankfurt.”.

    Agent: “Occupation?”.

    German: “No, just visiting.”.
     
    #15610
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 16, 2024
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  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A polar bear was driving along the road when his car broke down. He called the recovery service who arrived within a short time. The mechanic said he would need about an hour to fix it. The polar bear walked to the nearest supermarket, where he bought himself an ice-cream. He ate it as he walked back to the car, but smeared some of it around his mouth.

    As he got back to the car, the mechanic looks up at the polar bear and says 'it looks like you've blown a seal'. The polar bear looks embarrassed, wipes his mouth, and says 'No I haven't, it's just ice-cream’!
     
    #15611
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 16, 2024
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  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #15612
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 16, 2024
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  13. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2024-8-16_22-21-46.png
     
    #15613
    Taffvalerowdy, Aug 16, 2024
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15614
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 16, 2024
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  15. Wooperts_duck

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    #15615
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 16, 2024
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15616
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 16, 2024
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  17. Wooperts_duck

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    #15617
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 16, 2024
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15618
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 16, 2024
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  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #15619
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 16, 2024
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15620
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 17, 2024
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Page 781 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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