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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 778 of 830
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15541
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 4, 2024
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Due to recent cutbacks:

    The light at the end of the tunnels has been turned off.
     
    #15542
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 4, 2024
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just watching the Olympic cycling on the telly.

    It's tempting me to whip my old Chopper out........
     
    #15543
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 4, 2024
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  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    brill that one mate
     
    #15544
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 4, 2024
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Little known fact:

    Richard Gere's dad, Gottler, was a famous Swedish ventriloquist.
     
    #15545
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 5, 2024
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15546
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 5, 2024
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15547
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 5, 2024
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  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #15548
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 6, 2024
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  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #15549
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 6, 2024
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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A husband and wife are at Custody court and the judge looks sternly at the ex wife.

    Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child ?"

    Ex wife: "I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him."

    Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

    Then the judge looks towards the ex husband.

    Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir ?"

    The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, and after a brief moment of silence, he says "If I put money into a Coke machine and a Coke comes out, is it mine or the machine’s ?"
     
    #15550
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 6, 2024
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  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #15551
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 6, 2024
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  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #15552
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 6, 2024
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  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #15553
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 6, 2024
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  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #15554
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 6, 2024
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15555
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 6, 2024
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15556
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 6, 2024
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I took my wife to a restaurant.
    The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
    "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
    He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
    "Nah, she can order for herself."
     
    #15557
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 6, 2024
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A woman's dog came in to heat and she was concerned about keeping it and her male dog separated. But she had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.
    However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds.
    She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate.
    Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.
    After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs.
    I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw.
    "Do you think that will work?" she asked.
    "Just worked for me." the vet replied.
     
    #15558
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 6, 2024
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15559
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 6, 2024
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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #15560
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 7, 2024
Page 778 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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