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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 774 of 786
  1. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    woof!
    IMG_1116.jpeg

    .
     
    #15461
    Didley Squat, Jul 24, 2024
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  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    we must be twins Didley cos i use the exact same lines
     
    #15462
    Makemstine Roger, Jul 24, 2024
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15463
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2024
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  4. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    .
    IMG_1124.jpeg
     
    #15464
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2024
    Didley Squat, Jul 25, 2024
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Some Egyptian bloke just pulled up in a BMW, beeped his horn and bared his naked arse out of the window.

    Bloody toot and car moon!
     
    #15465
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2024
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15466
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2024
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15467
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2024
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Paddy walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the son asks, “What’s are these, Dad?”
    To which Paddy matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.”
    “Oh I see,” replied the son pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.”
    He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, “Why are there 3 in this package?” Paddy replies, “Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.”
    “Cool!” says the son. He notices a 6-pack and asks, “Then who are these for?”
    “Those are for college men,” Paddy answers, “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.”
    “WOW!” exclaimed the son.
    “Then who uses THESE?” he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
    With a sigh, Paddy replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…”
     
    #15468
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2024
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15469
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2024
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    How can you tell when a Newcastle Lass is having an orgasm.

    She drops her chips....
     
    #15470
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2024
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Going to the toilet in Wetherspoons......

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    #15471
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2024
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    French authorities confirm that the Afghanistan Olympic team accidentally took a wrong turn on the river Seine and ended up in Dover!
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    #15472
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2024
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15473
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2024
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The RSPB today announced its commitment to studying the effects of cannabis on seabirds.

    Vowing to leave no tern unstoned.
     
    #15474
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2024
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Met a girl in the pub last night who said she'd show me a good time...

    Got outside, she ran 100m in 9.72 seconds....
     
    #15475
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2024
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    As I lay there gazing at the heavens and contemplating the infinite mysteries of the cosmos, I couldn't help but wonder...

    Where the f*ck had my tent gone!
     
    #15476
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2024
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    It's only my first week in this prison and I've already been bummed three times in the shower....

    I'm starting to think I'm not cut out to be a prison guard!
     
    #15477
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2024
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15478
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2024
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15479
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2024
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15480
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 27, 2024
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Page 774 of 786
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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