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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 762 of 830
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15221
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 6, 2024
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15222
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 7, 2024
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A man was arrested yesterday after he fell into a combine harvester while trying to steal it !!!

    He's due to be bailed tomorrow !!
     
    #15223
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 7, 2024
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just started a boat making business in my loft and it's doing really well....

    Sails have gone through the roof....
     
    #15224
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 7, 2024
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  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    One fine, sunny morning, the Irish priest took a walk in the local forest. He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad looking frog sitting on a toadstool.

    "What's wrong with you?" said the Irish priest.

    "Well," said the frog, "the reason I am so sad on this fine day is because I wasn't always a frog."

    "Really!" said the Irish priest. "Can you explain!"

    "Once upon a time, I was an 11-year-old Choir boy at the local church. I, too, was walking through this forest when I was confronted by the wicked witch of the forest. 'Let me pass!' I yelled, but to no avail. She called me a cheeky little boy and, with a flash of her wand, turned me into this frog you see before you."

    "That's an incredible story." said the Irish priest. "Is there no way of reversing this spell that the witch has cast upon you?."

    "Yes" said the frog, "It is said, that if a nice kind person would pick me up, take me home, give me food & Warmth and with a good night's sleep I would wake up a boy once again."

    "Today's your lucky day!" said the Irish priest, and picked up the frog and took him home. The Irish priest gave the frog lots of food, placed him by the fire, and at bedtime put the frog on the pillow beside him. When the Irish priest awoke, he saw the 11-year-old Choirboy beside him in bed,


    "And that my lord is the case for the Defence....... "
     
    #15225
    Makemstine Roger, Jun 8, 2024
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  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #15226
    Makemstine Roger, Jun 8, 2024
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15227
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 8, 2024
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15228
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 8, 2024
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15229
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 8, 2024
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15230
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 8, 2024
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15231
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 8, 2024
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  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2024-6-9_8-50-27.png
     
    #15232
    Taffvalerowdy, Jun 9, 2024
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  13. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2024-6-9_19-19-52.png
     
    #15233
    Taffvalerowdy, Jun 9, 2024
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15234
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2024
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15235
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2024
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #15236
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2024
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    An ice cream van just caught fire on the M1.

    The police are putting the cones out
     
    #15237
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2024
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I came home yesterday to find that my daughter had arranged five bottles of pro biotic yoghurt to form a pentagram on her bedroom floor.

    I’m worried that she’s been dabbling with the yakult .
     
    #15238
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 9, 2024
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A woman is cheated on by her husband.

    She's devastated. She hears that there's a wise monk who lives up in a mountain. She decides to consult him.

    After a few days of travelling, she meets the wise monk. "I spent my whole life with him, my youth was dedicated to taking care of him. And now he has left me for another woman. I don't know what to do".

    The monk gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it. After she finishes eating, he asks: "Was the cookie delicious?

    "Yes"- she answers.

    "Do you want another one?"

    "Sure".

    The monk looks her in the eye and says "Do you see the problem now?"

    The woman thinks for a while, and then slowly speaks. *"I guess human nature is greedy. You get one, then you want more, maybe a new one, bigger one. It's never enough. And nothing lasts forever. Everything is finite. We should be aware of this and not be disappointed.”

    The monk shakes his head. "No, I mean stop eating biscuits you fat cow
     
    #15239
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 10, 2024
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Hear about the blind man who got a cheese grater for Christmas ?

    He said it was the most violent book he had ever read.......
     
    #15240
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 10, 2024
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Page 762 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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