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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14761
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2024
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14762
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 10, 2024
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  3. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    IMG_9449.jpeg
     
    #14763
    Didley Squat, Mar 11, 2024
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  4. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2024-3-11_14-50-52.jpeg
     
    #14764
    Taffvalerowdy, Mar 11, 2024
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    An Australian kiss is the same as a French kiss, except it's done down under!
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    #14765
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 11, 2024
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14766
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2024
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've lost my job at NASA's Mission Control.

    I misheard when they said it's lunchtime......
     
    #14767
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2024
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14768
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2024
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14769
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2024
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14770
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2024
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below.
    He thought, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got off the railing.
    He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life.
    "Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."
    "Dancing? I'm not dancing!" the armless man replied bitterly ... "My asshole itches, and I can't scratch it!"
     
    #14771
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2024
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14772
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2024
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14773
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 12, 2024
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, “Can I help you, sir?”
    “Yesssh! Sssshomebody ssshtole my car!” the man replies.
    The cop asks, “Where was your car the last time you saw it?”
    “It wasssh at the end of thisssh key!” the man replies, logically, if a bit too literally.
    About this time the cop looks down to see that the man’s member is being exhibited for all the world to see. He asks the man, “Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?”
    The man looks down woefully and without missing a beat moans, “Ohhh God... they got my girlfriend too!!!”
     
    #14774
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 13, 2024
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14775
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 13, 2024
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Was told that after a vasectomy I wouldn't have kids anymore.

    But when I got home they were still there......
     
    #14776
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 13, 2024
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I have combined bomb making with taxidermy.

    Now I can make you an otter you can't diffuse.
     
    #14777
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 13, 2024
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    It’s only Steak and BJ day, or as it’s known in Southampton, tea at your sisters
     
    #14778
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 14, 2024
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I'll never forget the time I had to do P.E in my underpants at school after forgetting my kit.

    It ended my teaching career.....
     
    #14779
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 14, 2024
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #14780
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 14, 2024
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Page 739 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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