1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 694 of 830
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,184
    Likes Received:
    294,020
    A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee’s well-being, asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?”
    The blonde replies, “Early this morning, I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.”
    “I’m terribly sorry to hear that. Why don’t you go home for the day… we aren’t terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest.”
    The blonde very calmly explains, “No, I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.”
    The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. “If you need anything, just let me know,” he says.
    A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the woman. He looks out over his office and sees her crying hysterically.
    He rushes out to her and asks, “Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?”
    “No,” replies the blonde, “I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!”
     
    #13861
    Wooperts_duck, May 23, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,184
    Likes Received:
    294,020
    A woman takes her 15-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?" The mother says, "It's my daughter Mandy. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings." The doctor gives Mandy a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Mandy is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess." The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Mandy?" Mandy says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"
    The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it.
    About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?" The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill.
    I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"
     
    #13862
    Wooperts_duck, May 23, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  3. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,316
    Likes Received:
    256,462
    upload_2023-5-24_8-12-17.png
     
    #13863
    Taffvalerowdy, May 24, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,184
    Likes Received:
    294,020
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13864
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,316
    Likes Received:
    256,462
    upload_2023-5-24_22-25-53.png
     
    #13865
    Taffvalerowdy, May 24, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and Wooperts_duck like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,184
    Likes Received:
    294,020
    Suella Braverman at the Houses of Parliament today.....
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13866
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,184
    Likes Received:
    294,020
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13867
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,184
    Likes Received:
    294,020
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13868
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  9. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,316
    Likes Received:
    256,462
    upload_2023-5-24_22-51-25.png
     
    #13869
    Taffvalerowdy, May 24, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and Wooperts_duck like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,184
    Likes Received:
    294,020
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13870
    Wooperts_duck, May 24, 2023
    Makemstine Roger likes this.

  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,316
    Likes Received:
    256,462
    upload_2023-5-24_23-40-16.png
     
    #13871
    Taffvalerowdy, May 24, 2023
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,316
    Likes Received:
    256,462
    upload_2023-5-24_23-43-19.png
     
    #13872
    Taffvalerowdy, May 24, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and Wooperts_duck like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,184
    Likes Received:
    294,020
    I was trying to work out the nautical term for 6 feet depth of water, but I just couldn't fathom it out !!
     
    #13873
    Wooperts_duck, May 25, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,316
    Likes Received:
    256,462
    Bet you felt a drip …. <laugh>
     
    #13874
    Taffvalerowdy, May 25, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and Wooperts_duck like this.
  15. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,316
    Likes Received:
    256,462
    upload_2023-5-25_11-41-10.png
     
    #13875
    Taffvalerowdy, May 25, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and Wooperts_duck like this.
  16. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,316
    Likes Received:
    256,462
    upload_2023-5-25_11-48-24.png
     
    #13876
    Taffvalerowdy, May 25, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  17. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,316
    Likes Received:
    256,462
    upload_2023-5-25_16-13-36.png
     
    #13877
    Taffvalerowdy, May 25, 2023
    Makemstine Roger and Wooperts_duck like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,184
    Likes Received:
    294,020
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13878
    Wooperts_duck, May 25, 2023
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,184
    Likes Received:
    294,020
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13879
    Wooperts_duck, May 25, 2023
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,184
    Likes Received:
    294,020
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13880
    Wooperts_duck, May 26, 2023
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
Page 694 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

Share This Page