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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #13761
    Wooperts_duck, May 2, 2023
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors.
    The waiting room was filled with patients..
    As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. ...
    In a very loud voice, the receptionist said,
    "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE;
    YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
    All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.
    He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,
    'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'
    The room erupted in applause !!!!!!
     
    #13762
    Wooperts_duck, May 2, 2023
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #13763
    Wooperts_duck, May 2, 2023
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I think it's a disgrace on society and our education system when after 50 years, most people have no idea who Neil Armstrong is.

    Or what kind of trumpet he played!
     
    #13764
    Wooperts_duck, May 2, 2023
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  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-5-3_16-2-27.png
     
    #13765
    Taffvalerowdy, May 3, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat and Wooperts_duck like this.
  6. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-5-3_19-21-48.png
     
    #13766
    Taffvalerowdy, May 3, 2023
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Man lost in a hot air balloon over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer and shouts to him "Where am i?"

    The Irish farmer looks up and shouts back "You can't fool me, I know you're in that feckin basket!"
     
    #13767
    Wooperts_duck, May 3, 2023
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I was in an Inuit restaurant last night and I asked the waiter what was on the menu…
    He said I could have whale meat, whale meat, whale meat or the Vera Lynn.
    I said, “what’s the Vera Lynn?”
    He said, “Whale meat again”
     
    #13768
    Wooperts_duck, May 3, 2023
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #13769
    Wooperts_duck, May 3, 2023
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A man furiously approaches his neighbour and shouts, 'Where is your Wife?'
    'Why?' the neighbour replies ,'What did Anna do?'
    She tricked my Wife into investing in a fake farm for snakes!' he yelled.
    'Anna conned her?'
    'No, Burmese pythons...'
     
    #13770
    Wooperts_duck, May 3, 2023
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Breaking News

    Marks and Spencer are to merge with Poundstretcher

    It will be called StretchMarks
     
    #13771
    Wooperts_duck, May 3, 2023
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #13772
    Wooperts_duck, May 3, 2023
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #13773
    Wooperts_duck, May 3, 2023
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #13774
    Wooperts_duck, May 3, 2023
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #13775
    Wooperts_duck, May 3, 2023
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  16. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-5-4_16-28-43.png
     
    #13776
    Taffvalerowdy, May 4, 2023
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  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13777
    Makemstine Roger, May 4, 2023
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #13778
    Wooperts_duck, May 4, 2023
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Have you been a victim of faulty double glazing?

    You could be entitled to condensation....
     
    #13779
    Wooperts_duck, May 4, 2023
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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I'm laying in hospital because of something on my c*ck.
    My mate found his girlfriend on it.
     
    #13780
    Makemstine Roger, May 5, 2023
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Page 689 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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