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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13701
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 12, 2023
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13702
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 12, 2023
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13703
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 12, 2023
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Paddy and Murphy who were unemployed decided to go to the mainland to work in the mines in Derbyshire, "But I've never worked in a mine before in my life" said Paddy, Neither have I" said Murphy, "But they don't know that, do they, Its a long way from Wales, so we'll say we've worked in the mines in Wales, they can never check, then we will pick it up as we go along!!" So they arrived at the mine, the manager said to them "Tell me, where have you worked before?" Both together they said" Oh we've worked in the mines in Wales" the manager replied, "Well we've never had anyone from the Welsh mines, tell me, what sort of lamps do they use?" Straight away Murphy spluttered "Oh we never went on the night shift, did we Paddy!!.
     
    #13704
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 13, 2023
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I asked my GP if there was anything better than over the counter hemorrhoids stuff as I was trying to avoid the time off work for surgery. She suggested using teabags as a cold compress as the tea shrinks them and soothes some of the pain. I decided to try it, but I only ever use loose leaf tea, but the principle’s the same, so I scooped the leaves out of the cold pot and used a wad of kitchen towel to hold them in place. A couple of week’s later and I’m back at the Doctors. She gets me to drop my trousers and lie on the couch on one side. I hear her draw up her chair, the lights dimmed slightly and she said. “Well, your hemorrhoids aren’t getting any better, but you are going on a journey. You will meet a tall dark handsome stranger.....”
     
    #13705
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 13, 2023
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Someone offered me a £70,000 a year job working for the Brittle Bone Society….

    I snapped his hand off.
     
    #13706
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 13, 2023
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Feeling down?

    Play a country music record backwards.

    You get your wife, your kids, your house your dog and your truck back in two minutes
     
    #13707
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 13, 2023
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  8. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-4-14_19-55-21.png
     
    #13708
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 14, 2023
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  9. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13709
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 14, 2023
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  10. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-4-14_22-43-4.png
     
    #13710
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 14, 2023
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  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13711
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 14, 2023
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  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13712
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 16, 2023
    Wooperts_duck, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  13. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13713
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 16, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13714
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 18, 2023
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  15. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13715
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 20, 2023
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

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    #13716
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 20, 2023
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  17. Wooperts_duck

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    #13717
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 20, 2023
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  18. Wooperts_duck

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    #13718
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 21, 2023
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  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #13719
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 21, 2023
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  20. Wooperts_duck

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    #13720
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 21, 2023
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: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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