The barnsley joke page

Four friends met in a bar. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room.
The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and their successes.
The first guy says: I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration soon he was promoted and began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the General Manager and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.

The second guy says: Damn, My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a travelling agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.

The third guy says: Well, well, well congratulations!! My son is also my pride and joy and he is also very rich. He studied in the best universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave away some thing very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday. He built a 30,000 sq ft mansion especially for his friend.
The three friends congratulated each other mutually for the successes of theirs sons. The fourth friend who earlier had gone to the restroom returned and asked: What's going on, what are all the congratulations for? One of the three said: We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. And then he asked, What about your son?

The fourth man replied: My son is Gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.
The three friends said: What a shame that must be, that is horrible, what a disappointment you must feel. The fourth man replied: No, I am not ashamed at all. He is my son and I love him just as well, he is my pride and joy. And he is very lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 sq ft mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends?

 

An enormous amount of people think that Yorkshire tea comes from Yorkshire, like there are tea plantations in the hills above Huddersfield, where it is harvested by men with flat caps and transported to warehouses by teams of trained whippets!

 

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Due to an unfortunate spacing error while booking our holiday online, I am now looking forward to a week on the Norfolk B roads.

 

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My wife and I were so proud of our daughter standing in front of us after trying on her Wedding Dress.

"Give us a twirl," said my wife.

The proudest moment of my life and all that fat bitch wants is chocolate!

 

My wife dresses to kill.

She also cooks the same way.

 

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My neighbours are having a competition to see who can hang out the washing fastest.

So far it's level pegging

 

Due to freezing conditions in the UK, the men's British Naturist Society has seen the size of their members shrink dramatically.

 

My wife has left me for a tractor salesman

I've just had a John Deere letter.

 

I was checking out at tesco this morning when I noticed the man in front of me put one thing on the conveyer belt... A box of condoms.
Not only did he notice me staring but decided to make super uncomfortable eye contact.
So to lighten the mood I put my bottle of ketchup on and said "looks like we've both bought something to put on our sausages".....