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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13301
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 6, 2022
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  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13302
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 6, 2022
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  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a South Korean meal, in a paper cup, with no dogmeat in it ...

    ... Not Poodle <laugh>
     
    #13303
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 6, 2022
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  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13304
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 7, 2022
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  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13305
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 7, 2022
    BluefromBridgend, Taffvalerowdy, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13306
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 7, 2022
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  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13307
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 7, 2022
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  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13308
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 7, 2022
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  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a moustache soaked in urine?

    a pistachio
     
    #13309
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 7, 2022
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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Rihanna, Usher and Justin Bieber were walking over a bridge.
    Rihanna trips and gets her head stuck between the railings.
    Without a sideways glance, Usher pulls aside her G-String and fu*ks her senseless.
    He stands back and tells Justin "your turn"!
    Justin burst out into tears. "Whats wrong? Asks Usher.
    Justin sobs, "My head won't fit in the railings"
     
    #13310
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 7, 2022
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  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around
    the block?'
    Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.'
    'What does that mean?' asked the child.
    'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'
    The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu
    for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on
    the heat, and to come ask you.'
    He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with
    it to disguise the scent, and said 'Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on
    the leash and only go one time around the block.'
    The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the
    leash..
    Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Lulu?'
    The little girl said, 'She ran out of petrol about halfway round the
    block, so another dog is pushing her home
     
    #13311
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 7, 2022
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  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13312
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 7, 2022
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  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings'. Apparently Gollum was once a normal man. But wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life.

    Must be the same ring I put on when I got married.
     
    #13313
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 7, 2022
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  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A maid went to a housewife and wanted a higher salary.

    Why?! ; the housewife asked

    I have three good reasons – replied the maid.

    First, I'm better at ironing shirts than you!

    – Who says that?!

    – Your husband!! Second, I'm a much better cook than you!

    – And who says that?!?

    –Your husband! And third, I am better in bed, having sex!

    –Oh really? And it's my husband who has said that too!?

    –No ma'am, that's what the gardener said...!

    –Oh, well, how much of a salary increase did you envisage…?
     
    #13314
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 7, 2022
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #13315
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 7, 2022
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  16. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-12-8_22-17-8.png
     
    #13316
    Taffvalerowdy, Dec 8, 2022
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  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup.

    I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think that I'm ready to compete just yet."
     
    #13317
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 8, 2022
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #13318
    Wooperts_duck, Dec 9, 2022
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  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Christmas - A holiday where you spend money you don't have to buy people you don't like gifts they won't use.
     
    #13319
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 10, 2022
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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13320
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 10, 2022
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Page 666 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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