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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13261
    Taffvalerowdy, Nov 22, 2022
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  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13262
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 22, 2022
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13263
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 22, 2022
    Didley Squat, Taffvalerowdy and Makemstine Roger like this.
  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13264
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 22, 2022
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  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13265
    Taffvalerowdy, Nov 22, 2022
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  6. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13266
    Taffvalerowdy, Nov 22, 2022
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  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13267
    Taffvalerowdy, Nov 22, 2022
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  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden's funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"

    The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters "Too f*cking late pal! - I've already done the paperwork
     
    #13268
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 23, 2022
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  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

    The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”


    The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”


    The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband
    Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”


    The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.


    The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
     
    #13269
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 23, 2022
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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A man was watering his lawn one day when he saw two hearses followed by a man, his dog and a single file line of about 200 men. He thought this was very strange so he asked the guy (with the dog) what was going on.

    "That's my wife in the first hearse, my dog bit her and she died" the man answered.

    "Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that" the guy watering his lawn said. "What about the second hearse?"

    "Well that's my mother-in-law, my dog also bit her and she died".

    The guy watering his lawn thought for a minute and said "Can I borrow your dog?"

    The man with the dog responded "Back of the line!"
     
    #13270
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 23, 2022
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  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter',who has stabbed six people in the rear in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
     
    #13271
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 23, 2022
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  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13272
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 23, 2022
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  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13273
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 23, 2022
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  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13274
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 23, 2022
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  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    promised the wife as a treat for xmas she can get her hair done as its grown a bit

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    but i then decided a Brazilian wax would be best

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    #13275
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 23, 2022
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  16. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13276
    Taffvalerowdy, Nov 24, 2022
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  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13277
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 26, 2022
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter, who has stabbed six people in the rear in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.
     
    #13278
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 26, 2022
    San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and Makemstine Roger like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13279
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 26, 2022
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13280
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 26, 2022
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Page 664 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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