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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 654 of 830
  1. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-10-10_20-43-53.png
     
    #13061
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 10, 2022
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #13062
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 10, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  3. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    Is that Uranus?
     
    #13063
    Didley Squat, Oct 10, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.
  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    yes before lancing
     
    #13064
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 10, 2022
    San Diego, Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    and bring you back to Earth
     
    #13065
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 10, 2022
    San Diego, Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13066
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 10, 2022
    San Diego, Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    "What did we have before we had candles Grandpa ?"


    "Electricity"
     
    #13067
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 10, 2022
    San Diego, Didley Squat and Wooperts_duck like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13068
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 10, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger and Didley Squat like this.
  9. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    Lance Armstrong?
    He’s known to ride hard up hills, just saying….
     
    #13069
    Didley Squat, Oct 11, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    and pull the front brake first

    please log in to view this image
     
    #13070
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 11, 2022
    Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
    The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
    And God saw it was good.
    On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
    The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
    And God, again saw it was good.
    On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
    The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
    And God agreed it was good.
    On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
    But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back,
    the ten the monkey gave back,
    and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
    "Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
    So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
    For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.
    For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
    And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
    Life has now been explained to you.
    There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
    I'm doing it as a public service.
    If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch..
     
    #13071
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 11, 2022
    San Diego, BluefromBridgend, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-10-12_8-5-14.png
     
    #13072
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 12, 2022
    San Diego, BluefromBridgend, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  13. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-10-12_16-58-39.png
     
    #13073
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 12, 2022
    San Diego, BluefromBridgend, Wooperts_duck and 2 others like this.
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Trying to organise a hide and seek tournament

    But

    Good players are hard to find
     
    #13074
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 12, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    spent the last 2 years looking for my ex-wife's killer

    But no one will do it to the money grabbing cow
     
    #13075
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 12, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  16. Bunny

    Bunny Well-Known Member

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    Where’s the one of the dog having loads of pups, want to show my sis
     
    #13076
    Bunny, Oct 12, 2022
    San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  17. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-10-12_22-56-51.png
     
    #13077
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 12, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger, BluefromBridgend and 1 other person like this.
  18. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13078
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 13, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger, BluefromBridgend and 1 other person like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13079
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger and BluefromBridgend like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13080
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2022
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Page 654 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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