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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 652 of 830
  1. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13021
    Taffvalerowdy, Sep 30, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13022
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 30, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  3. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13023
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 1, 2022
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  4. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13024
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 1, 2022
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  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13025
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 2, 2022
    Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  6. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13026
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 2, 2022
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  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13027
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 2, 2022
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  8. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13028
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 2, 2022
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  9. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13029
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 2, 2022
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  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13030
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 2, 2022
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  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13031
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 2, 2022
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  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Guy goes up to an ice cream van which is advertising any flavour you like.
    Deciding to be a smart arse he says "do you really every flavour?"
    The guy in the van says "sure do"
    Smartarse says "then i'll have pussy flavour" to which the icecream man replies "one scoop or two?
    He can't believe it and says "two of course"
    Ice Cream man promptly hands over a double scoop cone.
    Guy smells it and thinks it smells like pussy
    Takes a lick screws up his face and says "this tastes like ****"
    Ice Cream man replies "you took too long a lick"
     
    #13032
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 2, 2022
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  13. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13033
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 3, 2022
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  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13034
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 4, 2022
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  15. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13035
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 4, 2022
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  16. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13036
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 4, 2022
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  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    My 4-year-old grandson has been learning
    Spanish all year and he still can't say
    the word please.

    Which I think is poor for four.
     
    #13037
    Makemstine Roger, Oct 4, 2022
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  18. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #13038
    Taffvalerowdy, Oct 5, 2022
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13039
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 5, 2022
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    This story happened a while ago in Dublin, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, its said to be true!
    John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.
    The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door, only to realise there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on.
    The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a bend approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the bend, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralysed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
    Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.
    A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realised he was crying and.... wasn't drunk.
    Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other...
    “Look Paddy, there's that ****ing idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!”
     
    #13040
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 5, 2022
    BluefromBridgend, Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
Page 652 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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