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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12701
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 13, 2022
    Didley Squat, Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12702
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 13, 2022
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12703
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 13, 2022
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12704
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 14, 2022
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've just been offered a franchise in Texas with a German car manufacturer. My Job Title is Audi Partner.
     
    #12705
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 14, 2022
    San Diego, Didley Squat and Makemstine Roger like this.
  6. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-6-15_17-32-33.jpeg
     
    #12706
    Didley Squat, Jun 15, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck and Makemstine Roger like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12707
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 15, 2022
    BluefromBridgend, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12708
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 15, 2022
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12709
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 15, 2022
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12710
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 15, 2022
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A priest is going round visiting his parishioners. He visits one couple and asks them if they have any children. "No," the woman replies. "God never blessed us with children." "Oh, that's a shame," says the priest. "I'm going to Rome next week so I'll light a candle and pray for you." Ten years later, he and the woman meet again. "Hello," says the priest. "Do you remember me?" "I sure do," replies the woman. "And I now have ten children." "Ten children?" the priest asks. "That's fantastic! Can I speak to your husband to congratulate him?" "No," replies the woman. "He's gone to Rome to blow out that bloody candle."
     
    #12711
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 15, 2022
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12712
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 15, 2022
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12713
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 15, 2022
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #12714
    Makemstine Roger, Jun 15, 2022
    Taffvalerowdy, BluefromBridgend, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12715
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 16, 2022
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  16. Wooperts_duck

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    #12716
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 17, 2022
    Taffvalerowdy, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

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    Smelly Bob drove the honey bus for the local council and he'd arrived at old Granny Smith's to empty her septic tank. Bob always enjoyed winding up the punters and shouted to the deaf old coffin dodger,
    'Sorry love, but due to cutbacks I can only remove the liquid today'.
    Granny Smith never enjoyed this horrid event and looked concerned.
    'Yes dear, that's right' quipped the pongy prat
    'You'll have to book another visit to have the solids removed'
    Bob wandered back to his turd truck with a grin and Granny was quickly on the phone to his supervisor.
    'Hello, is that the Council? I'm not happy about my septic tank not being emptied properly. Your man say's he can only remove the liquid today, whatever's going on?'
    Bob's boss guessed he was up to his usual tricks and reassured the panicking pensioner,
    'Don't worry madam, the driver's only joking, he'll do a proper job'.
    'I beg your pardon' said Granny, not hearing a word.
    'I said don't worry, the driver's only joking, he'll do a proper job', repeated the boss, as clearly as possible
    'What's that now, you'll really have to speak up?' barked Granny.
    'He's messing about, of course he'll clear the tank properly', said the desk jockey, rapidly losing patience.
    'Stop mumbling man, speak clearly so I can hear you'.
    'HE'S JUST TAKING THE PISS' shouted the irate official.
    'Ah, at last!' exclaimed Granny. 'Now THAT'S why I'm ringing!
     
    #12717
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 17, 2022
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12718
    Wooperts_duck, Jun 17, 2022
    Taffvalerowdy, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  19. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #12719
    Taffvalerowdy, Jun 19, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck and Makemstine Roger like this.
  20. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-6-19_16-8-3.jpeg upload_2022-6-19_16-8-3.jpeg
     
    #12720
    Taffvalerowdy, Jun 19, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck and Makemstine Roger like this.
Page 636 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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