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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 627 of 830
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I was in a queue at a newsagents and there was a little girl wanting to buy a cream egg and it was the last one. She offered it to the rest of the queue but everyone refused. The egg was 70p but she only had 48p. "It's my favourite and they taste really nice" the shopkeeper replied " sorry but it costs 70p" . So I stepped forward and paid for the egg. She was right it tasted really nice.
     
    #12521
    Wooperts_duck, May 9, 2022
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  2. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-5-10_10-37-31.png
     
    #12522
    Taffvalerowdy, May 10, 2022
    BluefromBridgend, Wooperts_duck, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  3. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #12523
    Taffvalerowdy, May 10, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12524
    Wooperts_duck, May 11, 2022
    Didley Squat, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #12525
    Makemstine Roger, May 11, 2022
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    upload_2022-5-11_19-9-30.png
     
    #12526
    Gordon Armstrong, May 11, 2022
    San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #12527
    Taffvalerowdy, May 11, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just parked my car at the hospital, when an attendant said, “You can't park there, that's for badge holders only.”

    I replied, “That's okay, I've got a bad shoulder”
     
    #12528
    Wooperts_duck, May 11, 2022
    San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and Makemstine Roger like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12529
    Wooperts_duck, May 11, 2022
    San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and Makemstine Roger like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12530
    Wooperts_duck, May 11, 2022
    San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and Makemstine Roger like this.

  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-5-12_15-12-5.png
     
    #12531
    Taffvalerowdy, May 12, 2022
    BluefromBridgend, Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #12532
    Taffvalerowdy, May 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I recently spent £6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd, but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him . .but, they taste like peppermint
     
    #12533
    Wooperts_duck, May 12, 2022
    BluefromBridgend, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12534
    Wooperts_duck, May 12, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12535
    Wooperts_duck, May 12, 2022
    BluefromBridgend, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  16. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    I took my suit to the cleaners, who wanted to charge me £45!
    Instead, I gave my suit to the charity shop next door.
    They cleaned and pressed it.
    Then they put it in the window.
    I bought it for £12.50!
    Follow me for more money saving tips <laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #12536
    Taffvalerowdy, May 13, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  17. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #12537
    Taffvalerowdy, May 13, 2022
    BluefromBridgend, Wooperts_duck, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #12538
    Makemstine Roger, May 14, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck, BluefromBridgend and 1 other person like this.
  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #12539
    Makemstine Roger, May 14, 2022
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A German guy called Helmut approaches a lady of the night in London .
    "I vish to buy sex viz you."
    "Okay," says the girl, "I charge £50 an hour."
    "Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."
    "No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky for an extra £10."
    Helmut agrees.
    So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
    "I vant zat you tie zese springs to each of your hans und knees."
    The girl finds this odd, but complies, fastening the springs as requested.
    "Now you vill get down on your hans und knees."
    This she duly does, balancing precariously on the springs.
    "You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you."
    She thinks this even odder, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying).
    But the sex is fantastic: honking away on the duck caller, she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it's several minutes before she has enough breath to say, "That was totally amazing! What do you call that position?"
    "Zat," replies the German, "is ze Four-sprung Duck Technique
     
    #12540
    Wooperts_duck, May 14, 2022
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger and Gordon Armstrong like this.
Page 627 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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