1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 622 of 830
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    Sorry to anyone who felt my joke about herbs and fish was inappropriate.

    I realise there’s a thyme and a plaice for these things.
     
    #12421
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 21, 2022
    Didley Squat, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    My wife came back from shopping, she said.. “I’ve just seen my gynaecologist in Tescos and he recognised me!”

    I said.. “you’ll have to start wearing longer skirts!”
     
    #12422
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 21, 2022
    Didley Squat, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    My teacher said I’d never be able to do poetry because of my dyslexia.

    I sure showed her! So far I’ve made two pots and an ashtray.
     
    #12423
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 21, 2022
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    I’m a big fan of 1960’s tv Western series and googled ‘Bonanza’ and ‘Wagon Train’

    However, I don’t recommend searching for ‘Whiplash’ and Rawhide’..........
     
    #12424
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2022
    Didley Squat, Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    Ted.. What did you say to Frank? He's in a terrible state
    Bob...Well he said he's got little bumps all over his body and I said my uncle had that and he was dead the next week
    Ted... Well you didn't have to tell him he died from it
    Bob... He didn't, he was hit by a bus
     
    #12425
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12426
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.

  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12427
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2022
    Didley Squat, Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12428
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12429
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2022
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    I went into the hairdressers today, I said, “what cut would make me look handsome?”

    She looked me up and down and said, “probably a power cut”
     
    #12430
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2022
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12431
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2022
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    Looks a great place to take the family........

    please log in to view this image
     
    #12432
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2022
    San Diego, Didley Squat and Makemstine Roger like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12433
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2022
    San Diego, Didley Squat, BluefromBridgend and 1 other person like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    I asked the man in the shop "Have you got any Bulldog clips?"

    He replied "No, but I've got a nice video of a Jack Russell"
     
    #12434
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 22, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  15. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    27,489
    Likes Received:
    65,098
    42FF7213-EF8D-4C61-9887-827CF4F4AF1D.jpeg
     
    #12435
    Didley Squat, Apr 23, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  16. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    27,489
    Likes Received:
    65,098
    29699D36-53F0-4D84-9CF9-399FC0D76F30.jpeg
     
    #12436
    Didley Squat, Apr 23, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,194
    Likes Received:
    147,669
    Mick and Paddy are reading headstones near a church. Mick turns to Paddy and says, "****e, there's a bloke here who was 152!"

    Paddy asks, "What was his name?"

    Mick replies, "Miles from London."
     
    #12437
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 23, 2022
    Didley Squat and Wooperts_duck like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12438
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 23, 2022
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    So this fella was showing his mate his new golf ball.
    He said, "This golf ball is state of the art!"
    "You just can't lose this ball, if it goes in the rough it beeps, it glows in the dark, it floats in water and has an inbuilt G.P.S.."
    His mate asked, "Where did you get it from?"
    He said, "I Found it".
     
    #12439
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 23, 2022
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,313
    Likes Received:
    294,220
    please log in to view this image
     
    #12440
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 23, 2022
    San Diego likes this.
Page 622 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

Share This Page