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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Is this a blonde Couple Or what....................

    A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption centre called and told them they had a wonderful Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
    On the way home from the adoption centre, they stopped by the local college so they each could enrol in night courses.
    After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Japanese?"
    The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Japanese baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk.............................................. ..........
    We just want to be able to understand him".
     
    #12281
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 1, 2022
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A massive congratulations to Hugh Zappriti Boyden who has been elected president of the British Budgerigar Society.
     
    #12282
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 1, 2022
    BluefromBridgend, Didley Squat, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Got the wife a new coat made out of hamster skin.

    Took her to the funfair Saturday.

    Took me 4 hours to get her off the big wheel!!
     
    #12283
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 1, 2022
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  4. DMD

    DMD Eh? Forum Moderator

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    #12284
    DMD, Apr 2, 2022
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  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #12285
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 2, 2022
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  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #12286
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 2, 2022
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  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-4-2_21-47-25.jpeg
     
    #12287
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 2, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  8. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    upload_2022-4-3_9-28-47.png
     
    #12288
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 3, 2022
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  9. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    upload_2022-4-3_9-29-10.png
     
    #12289
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 3, 2022
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  10. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    upload_2022-4-3_9-29-29.png
     
    #12290
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 3, 2022
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  11. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    upload_2022-4-3_9-29-50.png
     
    #12291
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 3, 2022
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  12. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    upload_2022-4-3_11-25-52.png
     
    #12292
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 3, 2022
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  13. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    upload_2022-4-3_14-7-16.png
     
    #12293
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 3, 2022
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  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    The Pope decides to liven things up at the Vatican and announces that he will be hosting a darts tournament. Things go swimmingly and in the final it is a close contest between Father O'Neil and Sister Margaret.

    As master of ceremonies the Pope is calling out the scores and up comes Father O'Neil who throws an excellent treble 20 "Sixty!" the Pope calls out, next shot is just over the wire "Twenty!" calls the Pope. Father O'Neil's next dart smacks against the wire and flies back off the board hitting Sister Margaret straight in the eye, the force pushes it into her brain and she drops down dead.

    The Pope then calls out........

    "ONE NUN DEAD AND EIGHTY!"
     
    #12294
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 3, 2022
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  15. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-4-3_16-44-43.jpeg
     
    #12295
    Taffvalerowdy, Apr 3, 2022
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12296
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 3, 2022
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12297
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 3, 2022
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #12298
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 3, 2022
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  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    The Liverpool manager flies to Kabul to watch a young Afghani play football. He is suitably impressed and arranges for the player to come over.
    Two weeks later Liverpool are 2-0 down to Newcastle with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod, and on he goes. The lad is a sensation. He scores 3 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and the coach are
    delighted and the media love the new star.
    When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football. "Hello mum, guess what?" he says "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 2-0 down but I scored 3, they call it a hat-trick, and we won! Everybody loves me, the fans, the press, they all love me!"
    "Just wonderful" says his mum "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and assaulted, she would have been raped but for a passing police vehicle. Your brother has joined a local gang of looters and set fire to some buildings and all while you tell me that you were having a great time!!"
    The young lad is very upset. "What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry". "Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!" says his mum. "It's your bloody fault we came to Liverpool in the first place!"
     
    #12299
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 3, 2022
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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    what do you call a bag of fannies?



    Clitoris Allsorts.
     
    #12300
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 3, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
Page 615 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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