The barnsley joke page

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One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.
“You’re a goblin,” she says, “I caught you and you owe me three wishes!”
So the goblin replies “OK, you caught me fair and square, what’s your first wish?”
The woman stops and thinks for a second, “I want a huge mansion to live in.”, goblins replies “OK, you’ve got it.”
Woman again thinks it over, “My second wish is a Mercedes.” “OK, you’ve got that too.”
“My last wish is a million dollars!”. The goblin then says “OK, you’ve got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have to make love to me all night.”
She replies, “OK then, if that’s what it takes…”
Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
“Tell me,” says the man, “how old are you?” “I’m 27″, she replies
“Isn’t that something”, says the man, “27 and you still believe in goblins?”

 

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So this fella got chatting to this girl in a bar, "Can I buy you a drink?" he asked.
"Have you not got a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends.
""No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," he assured her.
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a white wine please.
A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle they headed off back to her place and made passionate love.
While he was putting his clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"
He said, "My wife found out."

 

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