1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 586 of 830
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    159,345
    Likes Received:
    294,277
    The winner of last night's Euro millions £107 million pound draw, say they plan to put their windfall towards paying their gas & electricity bill.
     
    #11701
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 6, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,216
    Likes Received:
    115,964
    upload_2022-2-7_3-29-27.png
     
    #11702
    Gordon Armstrong, Feb 7, 2022
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  3. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,216
    Likes Received:
    115,964
     
    #11703
    Gordon Armstrong, Feb 7, 2022
    San Diego likes this.
  4. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,216
    Likes Received:
    115,964
    Some may remember this from decades ago . . . . it's brilliant, and very clever :emoticon-0148-yes:
     
    #11704
    Gordon Armstrong, Feb 7, 2022
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck and Wherever like this.
  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
    Paddy was walking through a town one day when he saw a shop with a notice in the window.
    The notice said "We sell everything".
    Paddy could not believe this so he went inside.
    He walked to the counter and asked the salesperson, "Do you really sell everything?"
    The salesperson said "Yes, everything".
    Thinking this was too good to be true Paddy said "OK then could I have a jumper for a chicken?".
    The salesperson said "A jumper for a chicken?, hold on I will have to check the stock out the back".
    Five minutes later, the salesperson returned with a brown paper bag.
    "Here you go, one jumper for a chicken"
    "How much?" asked Paddy.
    "Three quid." replied the salesperson.
    "Three quid for a jumper for a chicken - excellent." said Paddy.
    So away he went as happy as larry.
    When he got outside he thought to himself that maybe he was done, so he looked inside the bag.
    At the bottom of the bag was a condom.
    He was mad and stormed back into the shop.
    He screamed at the sales person "Hey, I asked you for a jumper for a chicken and you have given me a condom - what's going on?"
    The salesperson replied, "Sorry mate, I checked in the back and we seem to be all out of jumpers for chickens, all we had was a pullover for a cock."
     
    #11705
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 7, 2022
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11706
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 7, 2022
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11707
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 7, 2022
    San Diego likes this.
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
    .Two women walked into a department store, stopped at the perfume counter and picked up a sample bottle.
    One sprayed the perfume on her wrist and smelled it. "That's nice, isn't it?" Sharon said waving her arm under her friend's nose.
    "Yeah. What's it called?" "Viens a moi". "Viens a moi? What's that mean?" A clerk offered some help.
    "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me.'" Sharon took another sniff. "That doesn't smell like come to me" she said,
    offering her arm to her friend again... "Does that smell like cum to you?"
     
    #11708
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 7, 2022
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11709
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 7, 2022
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
    A young male virgin, a shy college freshman, was lucky enough to have a roommate who was considerably more experienced
    with the opposite sex. When the bashful boy broke down and explained his predicament,
    his roommate offered to set him up with the campus floozy. "Just take her out to dinner and a show,
    and then let nature take its course" he explained. "This girl really knows how to go from there".
    The roommate arranged the date as promised, and the freshman took the co-ed out for a delightful evening of dining and dancing.
    On the way home, he parked his car in a dark lane, broke out in shakes and a cold sweat and blurted out:
    "God, I sure would like to have a little pussy". "I would, too" the girl sighed. "Mine's the size of a bucket!"
     
    #11710
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 7, 2022
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.

  11. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    26,216
    Likes Received:
    115,964
    upload_2022-2-8_6-40-47.png
     
    #11711
    Gordon Armstrong, Feb 8, 2022
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11712
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 8, 2022
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11713
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 8, 2022
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
    I used to work with a guy called Ewan Huzami. Nice man, but always getting into fights for some reason.
     
    #11714
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 8, 2022
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11715
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 8, 2022
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11716
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 8, 2022
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  17. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,401
    Likes Received:
    256,837
    upload_2022-2-8_19-45-24.jpeg
     
    #11717
    Taffvalerowdy, Feb 8, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
     
    #11718
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 9, 2022
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11719
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 9, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    69,196
    Likes Received:
    147,673
    please log in to view this image
     
    #11720
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 9, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
Page 586 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

Share This Page