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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11581
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11582
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11583
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11584
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 11, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness.
    He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
    When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
    The bartender says to him,
    "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it but it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
    The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
    One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin.
    When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we all used to drink together."
    The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
    The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way.
    He orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.
    One day, he comes in and orders two pints.
    All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent.
    When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,
    "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your sad loss."
    The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
    "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine. It's me......I've quit drinking!"
     
    #11585
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, TIGERSCAVE, Taffvalerowdy and 2 others like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11586
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11587
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11588
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11589
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 12, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  10. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #11590
    Gordon Armstrong, Jan 13, 2022
    Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.

  11. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #11591
    Gordon Armstrong, Jan 13, 2022
    Taffvalerowdy, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11592
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11593
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11594
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11595
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.
    The clerks called 9 1 1 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
    The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where
    he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
    He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns
    at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to.
    A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board loaded
    with several forms and a pen. She asked him how he was going
    to pay for his treatment.
    "Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
    He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
    The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
    He replied, "No money in the bank."
    "Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments,
    asked the irritated nun?
    He said, "I only have a spinster sister and she is a nun."
    The nun became agitated and announced loudly,
    "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
    The patient replied, "Perfect."
    "Send the bill to my brother-in-law!!..
     
    #11596
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.
    Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's bum was that eye staring right back at him.

    "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me.
     
    #11597
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  18. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-1-13_20-3-51.png
     
    #11598
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 13, 2022
    San Diego, BluefromBridgend, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  19. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-1-13_20-4-31.png
     
    #11599
    Taffvalerowdy, Jan 13, 2022
    San Diego, BluefromBridgend, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11600
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 13, 2022
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.
Page 580 of 830
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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