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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2021-8-29_19-1-43.png
     
    #10941
    Taffvalerowdy, Aug 29, 2021
    Didley Squat, Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  2. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2021-8-29_19-2-15.png
     
    #10942
    Taffvalerowdy, Aug 29, 2021
    Didley Squat, Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."
    "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
    His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror,stare at myself and repeat 3 times
    I do not have a headache;
    I do not have a headache,
    I do not have a headache.'
    It worked! The headaches are all gone."
    "Well, that is wonderful," replies the husband.
    His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
    The husband agrees to try it.
    Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
    He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
    He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
    His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
    The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
    He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.
    The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
    Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
    With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
    This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
    She's not my wife!
    She's not my wife!
    She's not my wife!"
    His funeral service will be held on Saturday.
     
    #10943
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 29, 2021
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10944
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 29, 2021
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #10945
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 29, 2021
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10946
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 29, 2021
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10947
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 30, 2021
    Gordon Armstrong, San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10948
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 30, 2021
    Didley Squat, Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Dat shuns the bath
     
    #10949
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 30, 2021
    San Diego, Taffvalerowdy and Wooperts_duck like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10950
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 30, 2021
    Gordon Armstrong, San Diego, Makemstine Roger and 1 other person like this.

  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2021-8-30_23-14-21.jpeg
     
    #10951
    Taffvalerowdy, Aug 30, 2021
    Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10952
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2021
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 30, 2021
    Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    mate really and i had you on a pedestal for jokes but this one :emoticon-0119-puke:
     
    #10953
    Makemstine Roger, Aug 31, 2021
    Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    #10954
    Taffvalerowdy, Aug 31, 2021
    San Diego, Wooperts_duck and Makemstine Roger like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.
    In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
    Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while shares in Kamikaze bank were suspended after they nosedived.
    Samurai bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja bank is reported to have taken a hit, but it remains in the black.
    Furthermore 500 staff at Karate bank got the chop and analysts report there is something fishy going on at Sushi bank where it’s feared staff may get a raw deal.
     
    #10955
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 31, 2021
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10956
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 31, 2021
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I went to an Eskimo restaurant and asked the waiter about the specials.
    He said: 'We've got whale meat, or whale meat, or whale meat... Or we've got the Vera Lynn.'
    I said 'Ok,What's the Vera Lynn?'
    He said
    'Whale..... meat ....again”
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    #10957
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 31, 2021
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10958
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 1, 2021
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10959
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 1, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10960
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 1, 2021
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
Page 548 of 834
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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