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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 540 of 746
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I just saw a bloke running down the road with a cape on...
    I shouted: "Are you a Superhero...?"
    He said: "No, I haven't paid for my haircut...!!!"
     
    #10781
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 20, 2021
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes sports with a coat hanger.
    They tried and tried to get the door open, but they just couldn't!
    The blonde with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath.
    The other blonde said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
     
    #10782
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2021
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego, Makemstine Roger and 1 other person like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10783
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2021
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10784
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2021
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I got home from the beach and ate 10 yoghurts.

    I’m absolutely Mullered now!
     
    #10785
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2021
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10786
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2021
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10787
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2021
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10788
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10789
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 22, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Taffvalerowdy like this.
  10. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2021-7-22_21-35-3.png
     
    #10790
    Taffvalerowdy, Jul 22, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A man was in a queue at his local supermarket. As he got to the checkout he realised that he'd forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register:
    She asked. "What size condoms?"
    The customer said that he didn’t know.
    She asked him to drop his trousers, reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom. "One box of large condoms, Till 5."
    The next man in line thought that this was interesting and like most of us was up for a cheap thrill.
    When he got up to the checkout, he told the cashier that he too had forgotten to get condoms and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him.
    She asked him what size, and he said that he didn’t know.
    She asked him to drop his trousers, gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom microphone and said. "One box of medium sized condoms, Till 5."
    A few customers back was this teenage boy, who thought that what he had seen was so cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a woman, and he thought "this is my chance."
    When he got to the checkout he told the girl that he needed some condoms.
    She asked him what size and he said that he didn’t know.
    She asked him to drop his trousers, reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the Intercom and said…....
    "Mop and bucket, till 5."
     
    #10791
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 22, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, BluefromBridgend and 1 other person like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10792
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2021
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10793
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2021
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10794
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2021
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10795
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2021
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  16. Wooperts_duck

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    Paddy , Seamus , and murphy wanted to get into the Olympics but the tickets were all sold out . Looking round they saw a construction site. Paddy said " Ive got a great idea " and proceded to share his idea with his friends . Paddy picks up a long piece of scaffolding , walks to the competitors entrance and says " Im here for the pole vault " and security let him in . Seamus finds a manhole cover and proceeds to the entrance and says " Im here for the discus .Murphy goes over to the entrance carrying a roll of barbed wire . The security guard asks " What are you here for ?" . Paddy replies " Fencing " . !
     
    #10796
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2021
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10797
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2021
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10798
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 25, 2021
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10799
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2021
    San Diego, Gordon Armstrong and Makemstine Roger like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10800
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2021
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger and BluefromBridgend like this.
Page 540 of 746
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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