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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    2 Irish men on an old air base have been told to measure the height of a flag pole, while they are scratching there chins, an English man walks by and asks if he can help . The Irish men ask him how he would measure it .

    He goes away brings back a spanner and unbolts the pole. Lays it down and measures it. The Irish men burst out laughing and say .You daft sod , we need the height not the length .
     
    #10441
  2. Wooperts_duck

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  3. Wooperts_duck

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    Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.

    Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a
    person’s walk, and the result was staggering.

    I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good
    players are really hard to find.
     
    #10443
  4. Wooperts_duck

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  5. Wooperts_duck

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    Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

    What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.

    Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
     
    #10445
  6. Wooperts_duck

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  7. Wooperts_duck

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  8. Wooperts_duck

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  9. Wooperts_duck

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  10. Wooperts_duck

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    #10450

  11. Wooperts_duck

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  12. Wooperts_duck

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  13. Wooperts_duck

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    "I hear your husband just died?"
    "Yes, it was very sudden".
    "Did he have time for any last words?"
    "He did indeed. He said, 'Yes, your bum does look big in that'!".
     
    #10453
  14. Wooperts_duck

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  15. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  16. Wooperts_duck

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  17. Wooperts_duck

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  18. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  19. Taffvalerowdy

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  20. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    A couple were enjoying a meal in a restaurant to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary when a fairy appeared at their side. ‘ I’ve come to grant you each a wish as an anniverserary gift, you first madam’ The lady declined saying she had all she could ever wish for already. The fairy then asked the man. He turned to his wife ‘Sorry dear... I wish I to be married to a woman 20 years younger than me.’ The fairy frowned but waved her wand and ‘ping’ the wife was facing an 80 year old man!
    .......and the moral of the story is...All fairies are female!
     
    #10460
    San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.

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