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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9821
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  3. Wooperts_duck

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    #9823
  4. Wooperts_duck

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  5. BluefromBridgend

    BluefromBridgend Well-Known Member

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    Looks like she got very excited and left her "mark" all over the windscreen. <whistle>
     
    #9825
  6. Wooperts_duck

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    #9826
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

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    #9827
  8. Wooperts_duck

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  9. Wooperts_duck

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    #9829
  10. Wooperts_duck

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    #9830

  11. Wooperts_duck

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  12. Wooperts_duck

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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A married couple were in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned.
    The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny.
    So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
    However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.
    The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret.
    After all, this was a very delicate matter.
    After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty.
    She looked more beautiful than she ever had before!
    All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
    One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.
    She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
    "My darling," he replied, "Think nothing of it, I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek !!"
     
    #9833
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Some bloke walked up to the counter and said,"Burger and Chips,please."
    "Certainly sir," I replied."Are you eating in or out?"
    "Do one idiot," he snapped,before walking off with his food.

    I love working in the prison canteen.
     
    #9834
  15. Wooperts_duck

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    #9835
  16. Wooperts_duck

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    #9836
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    What is everyone using to scrape ice off their windscreen?

    This morning I used a discount card from my wallet, but it was no good. I only got 20% off.
     
    #9837
  18. Wooperts_duck

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    #9838
  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #9839
  20. Wooperts_duck

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