1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 478 of 747
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    PADDY'S LAST WILL!
    Paddy was on his deathbed and knew the end was near.
    His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him at his home in Belfast.
    He asks for 2 independent witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.
    When all is ready he begins to speak:
    "My son Seamus, I want you to take the houses in Cultra."
    "My daughter Geraldine, you take the apartments over in Malone Road."
    "My son Patrick Junior, I want you to take the offices in the City centre."
    "Bridget, my dear wife, please take all the residential properties on the Upper Lisburn Road ."
    The nurse and witnesses are blown away. They did not realize the extent of Paddy's wealth. As he slips away, the nurse says to his wife, " Mrs O'Shaughnessy, my deepest condolences. Your husband must have been such a hard-working and wonderful man to have accumulated all this property"..
    "Property?”, his wife replies. “The f*cker had a window cleaning round."
     
    #9541
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 25, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,531
    Likes Received:
    215,296
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9542
    kiwiqpr, Sep 25, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and 2 others like this.
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,531
    Likes Received:
    215,296
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9543
    kiwiqpr, Sep 25, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy and San Diego like this.
  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,531
    Likes Received:
    215,296
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9544
    kiwiqpr, Sep 25, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and Didley Squat like this.
  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,531
    Likes Received:
    215,296
    what is this award for
    please log in to view this image
    ​
     
    #9545
    kiwiqpr, Sep 25, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,531
    Likes Received:
    215,296
    has to be a joke


    dosent it
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9546
    kiwiqpr, Sep 25, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  7. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    24,888
    Likes Received:
    59,410
    Looks like he plays on the other team.
    ( not that’s there anything wrong with that )
     
    #9547
    Didley Squat, Sep 25, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,531
    Likes Received:
    215,296
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9548
    kiwiqpr, Sep 25, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  9. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    24,888
    Likes Received:
    59,410
    For having a big C.
    Think it was awarded to the teacher!
     
    #9549
    Didley Squat, Sep 25, 2020
    Taffvalerowdy, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9550
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Taffvalerowdy, San Diego and 1 other person like this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9551
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, Taffvalerowdy and 2 others like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9552
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9553
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, Taffvalerowdy and 1 other person like this.
  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    126,287
    Likes Received:
    224,930
    upload_2020-9-27_20-16-28.jpeg
     
    #9554
    Taffvalerowdy, Sep 27, 2020
    Wooperts_duck, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9555
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 27, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, BluefromBridgend and 2 others like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    My mate had builders in doing an extension and his five year old daughter decided to help. The builders gave her little jobs to do to make her feel part of the team.
    At the end of the week she was presented with her 'wage packet', which consisted of £2 in small change. Her father took her to the bank to open an account with the money and she duly handed it over to the cashier.
    The cashier asked how she had earned the money and she said she was helping Steve, Big Harry and Wayne build an extension.
    "Wonderful." said the cashier, " and will you be helping them next week too."
    She said, " I will if those wa*kers from Jewsons deliver the f*cking bricks on time."
     
    #9556
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 27, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, BluefromBridgend and 2 others like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9557
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 27, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    My hamster died........he fell asleep at the wheel !
     
    #9558
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 28, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    please log in to view this image
     
    #9559
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 28, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,458
    Likes Received:
    263,450
    I've had to quit my job at the cat shelter. They reduced meowers
     
    #9560
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 28, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
Page 478 of 747
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

Share This Page