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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Got home from work and the window cleaner was shouting and swearing.

    He must have lost his rag.....
     
    #9501
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 20, 2020
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9502
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 20, 2020
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9503
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9504
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9505
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9506
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9507
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9508
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9509
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9510
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2020
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9511
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 22, 2020
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9512
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 22, 2020
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Anyone know a teacher?? Does he or she like a drink, or two??
    THIS is why!!
    The following questions were set in the 2015 GCSE examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year old's):
    NOT the same student, thank the Lord!!

    Q. Name the four seasons
    A. Salt,pepper, mustard and vinegar.
    Q. How is dew formed.
    A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
    Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
    A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
    Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
    A. Very important.Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
    Q. What are steroids
    A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs ..
    (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)
    Q. What happens to your body as you age
    A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
    Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
    A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true)
    Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
    A. Premature death.
    Q. What is artificial insemination
    A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
    Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
    A. Keep it in the cow.(Simple, but brilliant)
    Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
    A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
    The brainium contains the brain,the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U
    (wtf!)
    Q. What is the fibula?
    A. A small lie.
    Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
    A. Nearby.
    Q. What is the most common form of birth control
    A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
    (That would work)
    Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
    A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
    Q. What is a seizure?
    A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
    Q. What is a terminal illness
    A. When you are sick at the airport.(Irrefutable)
    Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
    A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.(brilliant)
    Q. What is a turbine?
    A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.
    Share
     
    #9513
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 22, 2020
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Coronavirus Testing....
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    #9514
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 22, 2020
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    The inventor of hard boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat has just died.

    RIP Scott Chegg.
     
    #9515
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 22, 2020
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    A woman arrived at a party, but didn't see anyone she knew.As she looked around, she spotted an attractive man, who was standing alone.She approached him and introduced herself:"Hi, my name is Carmen."That's a beautiful name," he replied, "Is it a family name?""No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most, cars and men.""What's your name?"she asked."Bob Titsenbeer," he replied.
     
    #9516
    kiwiqpr, Sep 22, 2020
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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Me: "How much for anal?"

    Hooker: "Sixty quid."

    Me: "That's a bit expensive. I think I'll leave it."

    Hooker: "Tight arse!"

    Me: "Go on then, you've persuaded me!"
     
    #9517
    kiwiqpr, Sep 22, 2020
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  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #9518
    kiwiqpr, Sep 22, 2020
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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #9519
    kiwiqpr, Sep 22, 2020
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  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #9520
    kiwiqpr, Sep 22, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
Page 476 of 835
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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