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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9421
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 4, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9422
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 4, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9423
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 5, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.
    The Father said, ‘Top of’ the mornin’ To you! Aren't you Mrs. Donovan And didn’t I marry you and your Husband two years ago?’
    She replied, ‘Aye, that you did, Father.’
    The Father asked, ‘And be there Any wee little ones yet?’
    She replied, ‘No, not yet, Father.’
    The Father said, ‘Well now, I’m going to Rome next week And I’ll light a fertility candle for you And your husband.’
    She replied, ‘Oh, thank you, Father…’ They then parted ways..
    Some years later they met again.
    The Father asked, ‘Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are you these days?’
    She replied, ‘Oh, very well, Father!’
    The Father asked, ‘And tell me , Have you any wee ones yet?’
    She replied, ‘Oh yes, Father!
    Two sets of twins and six singles, Ten in all!’
    The Father said, ‘That’s wonderful!
    And how is your loving husband doing?’
    She replied, ‘he’s gone to Rome to blow out your fookin’ candle!
     
    #9424
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 5, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-9-6_15-31-38.jpeg
     
    #9425
    Taffvalerowdy, Sep 6, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, Wooperts_duck and 1 other person like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9426
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 6, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.

  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9427
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 7, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9428
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 7, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9429
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 7, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9430
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 7, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    My wife says I'm tight, so to prove her wrong I’m taking her out for tea and biscuits today...

    It should be quite exciting as she's never given blood before.
     
    #9431
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 7, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9432
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 7, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9433
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 7, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9434
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 7, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  15. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    Looks like someone followed thru and dropped a turd in the middle, Woops.
     
    #9435
    Didley Squat, Sep 8, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  16. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    Looks like the Queens hubby been driving again!
     
    #9436
    Didley Squat, Sep 8, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I've joined a dating agency for arsonists.

    They send me new matches every week.....
     
    #9437
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 8, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I tried out one of those Escape Room parties recently.

    The floor was covered with Welsh cheese, I had to tread Caerphilly.
     
    #9438
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 8, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
    The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
    The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware her dining companion had disappeared.
    The waitress, thinking this was a bit risqué behaviour that might offend other diners, went over to the table and tactfully, began by saying to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
    The woman calmly looked up at her and said, "No, he didn't. He just walked in the door..."
     
    #9439
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 8, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9440
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 8, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
Page 472 of 835
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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