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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    If two vegans have an argument is it beef?

    No

    Its a quornfrontation.
     
    #9301
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 17, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9302
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 17, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I spent £96 on eBay today to buy a cheese grater once owned by Hitler and Saddam Hussein.

    It was the grater of two evils.
     
    #9303
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 17, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Although my mum is from Arran, my dad from Kashmir, my maternal grandparents from Jersey and my paternal grandparents from Cardigan, we are still a close-knit family.
     
    #9304
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 17, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9305
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 18, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9306
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 18, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.

  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9307
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 18, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9308
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 18, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9309
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Gordon Armstrong and San Diego like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9310
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9311
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9312
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9313
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
    San Diego likes this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

    The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.
     
    #9314
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Had a rather strange kebab last night it was all Kidneys and Liver.

    It must have been a Donor Kebab .
     
    #9315
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9316
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #9317
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon
    their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would
    transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the FATHER.
    He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in
    favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining
    that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced
    before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the
    doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch.
    The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was
    still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husbands' blood pressure and
    was amazed
    at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The
    husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was
    obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain
    to him.
    The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her
    husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the milkman was dead on the
    porch.
     
    #9318
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2020
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    .
     
    #9319
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2020
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 19, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  20. BluefromBridgend

    BluefromBridgend Well-Known Member

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    Oi, we only let the pretty ones in. <whistle>
     
    #9320
    BluefromBridgend, Aug 19, 2020
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
Page 466 of 835
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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