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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9241
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 9, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I think my wife's starting to get dementia.

    She just said she doesn't remember what she ever saw in me.
     
    #9242
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 9, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I haven't spoken to my wife in years.

    I didn't want to interrupt her.
     
    #9243
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 9, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and BluefromBridgend like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9244
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 10, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9245
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 10, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9246
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 10, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    So many people these days are very judgemental. I can tell just by looking at them.
     
    #9247
    kiwiqpr, Aug 10, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9248
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 10, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9249
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 10, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9250
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 10, 2020
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9251
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 10, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  12. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-8-11_13-56-55.jpeg
     
    #9252
    Taffvalerowdy, Aug 11, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck, kiwiqpr and 2 others like this.
  13. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-8-11_13-57-15.jpeg
     
    #9253
    Taffvalerowdy, Aug 11, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Wooperts_duck, kiwiqpr and 2 others like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?

    His goal: transcend dental medication.
     
    #9254
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 11, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
     
    #9255
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 11, 2020
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
     
    #9256
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 11, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days.
    A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausages?"
    The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?"
    The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am, but let me ask
    You something...
    If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
    Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if
    I was German?
    Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
    Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
    Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?"
    The assistant says, "No, I probably wouldn't."
    The guy says, "Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage,
    why then did you ask me if I'm Irish?"
    The assistant replied, "Because this is Halfords."
     
    #9257
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 11, 2020
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9258
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 11, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Bubba was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent Mary Louise to the hardware store. At the hardware store Mary Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf as she was waiting for Joe Bob to finish waiting on a customer.
    When Joe Bob was finished, Mary Louise asked how much for the teapot?
    Joe Bob replied "That's silver and it costs $100!"
    "My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary Louise exclaimed.
    She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Bubba had sent her to buy, and Joe Bob went to the back room to find a hinge.From the back room, Joe Bob yelled, "Mary Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
    To which Mary Louise replied "No, but I will for the teapot..."
     
    #9259
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 11, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9260
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 11, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
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: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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