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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

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    #9121
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2020
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    #9122
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2020
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    #9123
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2020
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    #9124
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2020
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    Wooperts_duck, Jul 22, 2020
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    Wooperts_duck, Jul 22, 2020
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    #9127
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 22, 2020
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    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My Grandad recalls fighting them on the beaches.

    Lovely man, terrible deckchair attendant.
     
    #9128
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 22, 2020
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  9. Wooperts_duck

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    #9129
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 22, 2020
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    I suppose I’m in the minority but I always lick the knife when I’m done.

    None of the other surgeons seem to do it.
     
    #9130
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 22, 2020
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  11. Wooperts_duck

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    #9131
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2020
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    #9132
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2020
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    #9133
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 23, 2020
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    Man walks into a Glasgow pub and asks for a pint of lager with a dash of lime.

    "We don’t do cocktails," replies the barman."
     
    #9134
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2020
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    #9135
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2020
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    #9136
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2020
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    #9137
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2020
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    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2020
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    Teacher asks the kids in her class what their fathers did for a living."Mary, what does your dad do?""He"s a doctor, miss.""Joe, what does your dad do?"He"s a pilot, miss.""Billy, what"s your dad do?""My dad"s dead, miss.

    ""Oh Billy, I"m so sorry............what did he do before he died?""He turned purple, farted and fell on the dog, miss."
     
    #9139
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

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    A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act.
    For $100, the cabby agreed. Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man. The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.
    The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for your season Green Bay Packer Tickets. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"
    Shaking his head from side-to-side the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?"
    The cabby said, "I'd cover his ass up with that blanket before he catches a cold...”
     
    #9140
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 24, 2020
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Page 457 of 836
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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