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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just had a letter from the Herb and Spice company saying I owe them £100.

    If I don't pay by tomorrow, they're sending the Bay Leaf’s around.
     
    #9101
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 18, 2020
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9102
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 18, 2020
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the
    doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.
    Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.
    Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.
    About 6 hours later, the Morris goes to his wife and says, 'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?'
    Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.
    Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch
    and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.
    He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, 'Honey, please... just one more time before I die.'
    She says, 'Of course, Dear,' and they make love for the third time.
    After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep.
    Morris, however, worried about his impending death,
    tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours.
    Again he taps his wife, who rouses. 'Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could...'
    At this point the wife sits up and says, 'Listen Morris, enough is enough I have to get up in the morning... you don't.'
     
    #9103
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 18, 2020
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9104
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 18, 2020
    Gordon Armstrong, San Diego and Didley Squat like this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just got unfriended and blocked on Facebook by a French bloke. We were talking about sports history and he asked me who won the first Tour de France.

    Apparently the 5th Panzer Division was the wrong answer!
     
    #9105
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 18, 2020
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  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #9106
    kiwiqpr, Jul 19, 2020
    San Diego likes this.
  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #9107
    kiwiqpr, Jul 19, 2020
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  8. Wooperts_duck

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    #9108
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2020
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9109
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2020
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9110
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2020
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9111
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2020
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The Queen once bought Prince Charles a fox fur hat but he never wore it. One day Charles said to her I’m going to Cannock tomorrow to open a new civic centre.

    The Queen said wear the fox hat. Charles replied up in the midlands by Wolverhampton!
     
    #9112
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2020
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9113
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2020
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9114
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 19, 2020
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  15. Wooperts_duck

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    #9115
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2020
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  16. Wooperts_duck

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    #9116
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2020
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  17. Wooperts_duck

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    #9117
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2020
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  18. Wooperts_duck

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    #9118
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2020
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  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #9119
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

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    #9120
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 21, 2020
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Page 456 of 836
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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