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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I went into a caravan showroom the other day and said to the salesman:

    "I'd like to buy a motorhome."

    He said "Camper?"

    I said "Oooo, get you, I'd like to buy a motorhome, sweety."
     
    #8421
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 26, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I've just watched a TV programme about tomato growing.

    It was on one of the ketchup channels.
     
    #8422
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 26, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #8423
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 26, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat and San Diego like this.
  4. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    mantis.jpg
     
    #8424
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 26, 2020
    Didley Squat, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  5. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    upload_2020-4-27_7-2-34.png
     
    #8425
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 27, 2020
    Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck and San Diego like this.
  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    #8426
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 27, 2020
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire telling stories of their bravado.
    Tom, the hand from Wyoming, says, “I must be the strongest, meanest, toughest cowboy there is. The other day a bull got loose in the corral. It gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands and castrated that sucker with my teeth.”
    Ben, from Idaho, can’t stand to be bested. “That’s nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday, and a 15-foot diamondback rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that bastard with my bare hands, bit off its head, sucked the poison down in one gulp, and didn’t even get a bellyache.”
    Old Snake River Frank, the cowboy from Texas, remains silent, slowly stoking the campfire coals with his penis.
     
    #8427
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 27, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, Didley Squat, San Diego and 1 other person like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #8428
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 27, 2020
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #8429
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 27, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and San Diego like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #8430
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 28, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego, Didley Squat and 1 other person like this.
  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #8431
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 28, 2020
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    She takes her car to the nearest garage and asks for advice. The mechanic, seeing an opportunity, tells her that the best way to remove the dents is to blow up the exhaust.

    Courtney drives home and later that day, her flat mate hears huffing and puffing coming from outside. She goes out to investigate and sees Courtney on her hands and knees blowing as hard as she can in to the exhaust.

    "What you doing?" asks her flat mate. "Oh the man at the garage said I could remove the dents by blowing up the exhaust". Her flat mate bursts in to laughter her eyes streaming and says, "You'll never do it, Courtney', you've left the windows open".
     
    #8432
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 28, 2020
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #8433
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 28, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, San Diego and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #8434
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 28, 2020
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #8435
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 28, 2020
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    "One minute you're young and fun, the next, you're turning down the stereo in the car so you can see better."
     
    #8436
    kiwiqpr, Apr 29, 2020
    San Diego, Gordon Armstrong and Didley Squat like this.
  17. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    #8437
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 29, 2020
    San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #8438
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 29, 2020
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  19. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    #8439
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 29, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #8440
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 29, 2020
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Page 422 of 838
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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