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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7921
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 26, 2020
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    #7922
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 26, 2020
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    #7923
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 27, 2020
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    #7924
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 27, 2020
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    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7925
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 27, 2020
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    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7926
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 27, 2020
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    #7927
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 27, 2020
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    #7928
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 27, 2020
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    #7929
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 27, 2020
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    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7930
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 27, 2020
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #7931
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 27, 2020
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A nun walks into the Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh, heavy with frustration.

    “What troubles you, Sister?” asked the Mother Superior. “I thought this was the day you spent with your family.”

    “It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.”

    “I seem to recall that,” the Mother Superior agreed. “So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?”

    “Far from it,” snorted the Sister. “In fact, I took the Lord’s name in vain today!”

    “Goodness, Sister!” gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. “You must tell me all about it!”

    “Well, we were on the fifth tee — and this hole is a monster, Mother — 540 yard par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green … and I hit the drive of my life. The sweetest swing I’ve ever made. And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted … and it hits a bird in mid-flight!”

    “Oh my!” commiserated the Mother Superior. “How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!”

    “No, that wasn’t it,” admitted the Sister. “While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!”

    “Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!” sympathized the Mother Superior.

    “But I didn’t, Mother!” sobbed the Sister. “And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!”

    “So that’s when you cursed,” said the Mother Superior with a knowing smile.

    “Nope, that wasn’t it either,” cried the Sister, anguished, “because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!”

    The Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said “You missed the fu*king putt, didn’t you!?”
     
    #7932
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 27, 2020
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just found out that A Tale of Two Cities was originally serialised in two local newspapers.

    It was The Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times.
     
    #7933
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 27, 2020
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  14. Wooperts_duck

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    #7934
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 27, 2020
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  15. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-2-27_20-7-7.jpeg
     
    #7935
    Taffvalerowdy, Feb 27, 2020
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  16. Taffvalerowdy

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    upload_2020-2-28_18-35-20.jpeg
     
    #7936
    Taffvalerowdy, Feb 28, 2020
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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #7937
    kiwiqpr, Feb 28, 2020
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  18. Wooperts_duck

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    #7938
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 29, 2020
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  19. Wooperts_duck

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    #7939
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 29, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

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    #7940
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 29, 2020
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: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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